I’ve felt myself pushing off this blog time and time again. Not out of lack of interest, or lack of words, rather lack of understanding as to how I might justly recount the last month in a concise, yet truthful way that non-enigmatically describes our entirely enigmatic God. Perhaps you see my dilemma. Nonetheless, I’m going to try and consolidate my month into this blog post. Here goes:
If I were to condense what I experienced and ascertained in Swaziland into one word, it would be love. I know that seems rather cliche, but I encourage you all to consider that such things are, considerably, cliche for a reason. My month in Nsoko led me to encounter the Lord’s love in a number of ways that were, in a sense, entirely new to me; it was the first time I’d really considered how one state of emotion could diffract in so many ways, encompassing a rather abundant amount of characteristics, but never deviating from the truth of the emotion. This month, I learned that God’s love is an entity of its own, with hidden nooks and edges that are crafted into a home in which we all live. A home with hidden passages that, if we look hard enough, we will find, and in which we get to explore. A home that only continues to grow, far and wide, holding more than we’ll ever see in this life, but that never stops revealing itself to us.
These are some of the passages I discovered and traversed in the house of the Lord’s love while in Swaziland:
In a moment of heartbrokenness and deceit, the Lord cared for me through a dear friend, speaking words of restoration and trust into my life, asking me to fall into his arms, and let him carry me. He anointed me with oil, dabbing my wrists, and my ankles, and my hairline, softly and gently rubbing in the fragrant lavender, covering me in a blanket of his peace; that is where I met his tender love.
“He shows unfailing love to his anointed.”
Psalm 18:50
I learned what the love and faith of a child looks like, playing with and caring for the sweet children at my ministry sight.The trust they so willingly gave to my team and me after the most effortless nurturing on our part planted a warmth in my sternum I didn’t know could exist. The way they would run to us in moments of fear, or sorrow, or joy, climbing into our grasp, their warm fingers coiling around our arms – the way our heavenly Father is begging us to run and cling to him – created a joy my soul hadn’t yet encountered. It was in those moments which I could rest forever; that is where I met the simplicity of his love.
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Matthew 19:14
Throughout the month, the Father began to move me away from a place of bondage and of fear, teaching me to turn my eyes from any stronghold the enemy may have in my spirit, and to turn towards him, walking me into a place of complete trust and dependency. There is no place for guilt or shame in my being because I have been crafted in perfect love by the one who freely gives perfect love; that is where I met his freeing love.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made in perfect love.
1 John 4:18
The Lord fiercely protected my squad in the midst of ascendant spiritual attacks, which grew to be a distinguishable part of our stay in Swaziland. God persistently reminded us of the authority we have as his children, inherited through the blood of Jesus Christ, relentlessly telling us of the dominion we have over any influence of the enemy. The Lord did everything in his immense power to lay protecting hands over us; that is where I met his reckless love.
“Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool beneath your feet.”
Psalm 110:1
This month, I began to truly understand the Lord’s indefatigable love for the first time. I am being tirelessly pursued by the love of my heavenly Father, in more ways then I could ever possibly imagine. There is no one who knows my heart so well; the one who created me is able to apprehend who I am better than I ever could myself, and he is able to love me so well through that knowledge. I’m enlivened by the prospect of continuing to explore and discover his home of overwhelming, all encompassing love.
