It’s been about 3 months since I’ve posted a blog and I do apologize. Frankly, I haven’t known what to say. I haven’t been able to articulate what’s been going on, in me and around me. Since my last post about the freedom I found in Nepal, I have traveled to India, Swaziland, Namibia and now I am a week into Eastern Europe. This is my attempt to catch you all up. More blogs to come. 🙂
I was super nervous about India, all I heard about it was you’ll either love it or hate it, it will be your best month or your worst. What was it going to be for me?
We worked at Sarah’s Covenant Homes, “an orphan home for special needs children.” They give children a place to be loved and to grow not only physically but spiritually by providing healthcare, education and more. The heart behind SCH is that the children are now apart of a family. When you ask any World Racer what ministry they would love to work with while in India most will say SCH so you can imagine my excitement when we got placed there.
On the first day we went around and met all the children and were asked to pray about which kid we would like to be paired with for the month. There was a tiny infant lying peacefully on her back that instantly grabbed my attention. She looked like an angel. The volunteer said her name was Eden, she was 7 months old and was born without eyes.
“What?”
I’ve met blind people before but never anyone born without eyes. I found myself thinking, as a photographer I couldn’t imagine not having eyes. I interpret the world around me largely through my sight.
I was so excited to work with Eden! The month started out with me simply holding her for 3 hours while she slept and eventually taking her to the blind preschool SCH was starting. Everyday I’d strap her into the baby carrier and walk the neighborhood to the preschool.
The day would consist of songs, readings and various activities that would build upon their development. Let’s just say some days didn’t seem so successful because all Eden did was sleep.
On the race there is something called “the slump.” It usually happens around months 6-8 where you find yourself spent. Over it. Done. Coming on the race I didn’t really believe it was a real thing until I experienced it first hand in India. India was rough. I was physically exhausted from having to always be on the go, the team became dry and apathetic towards the World Race routine, we stopped fighting for each other and even ourselves. Spiritually I felt dry and just confused. I found myself frustrated with ministry that month.
“Lord, how am I supposed to share the gospel with an infant?”
“What’s the purpose of even being here when all I do is sit and hold Eden all day while she sleeps?”
“Lord, she’s not even responding to anything that goes on in the preschool?”
“On top of that, Lord I’m over this. I’m tired and I want to quit.”
One day in preschool the teacher wanted me to work with Eden playing musical instruments so that she could learn to respond to sound. We got up and went to a quiet area by ourselves. I took the kiddie drum stick and placed it in Eden’s hands while I helped her hold it. I started banging on the drum while she laid there peacefully, not moving or making a sound. I got another musical instrument and started shaking that around hoping that she would wake up. No response. I thought this was strange so I banged the drum louder in her ear. Nothing. I continued making noises in her ear and I continued to get no response. I sat there perplexed and it hit me, “oh no, I think she is deaf too.”
If this is the case it would explain how she can sleep through the loudest preschool days and how when we walk to and from school she is never startled at the construction that’s taking place.
“God, please don’t let her be deaf too. This isn’t fair.”
One of my squad mates and I had the opportunity to sit in on a strategic planning meeting that SCH was having. In that meeting they talked about the different stages of a child’s development and how important touch is.
Purpose
I heard the Lord say “that is why I brought you here. I brought you here because this child needs to be held. You aren’t just holding her for hours while she sleeps, you are showing her that she is cared for, important, seen, LOVED. That is the Gospel.”
Touch is possibly Eden’s main way of sensing the world around her. And the Lord knew that.
In India I felt like I was spiritually blind to the things the Lord was doing because I was so caught up in my own frustrations. I couldn’t see the purpose of that month until the last week being there. I couldn’t see that God has designed each and everyone of His children and knows exactly what they need and when they need it. I couldn’t see that God was trying teach me more about what the Gospel looks like in action through Eden.
Thank you.
We still don’t know whether or not Eden is deaf as well. I believe they are trying to get some tests done but please be praying for her. I don’t know what her future will look like but I am encouraged that God does. Pray that she continues to grow in preschool and that all of her developmental needs will be met.
**We aren’t allowed to post pictures of the kiddos faces**
