As I have been asking people to partner with me and join me on this journey, one response that I’ve been getting a lot that makes me chuckle thinking “if you only knew” would be “you are doing such a good thing.” Yes I believe that I am doing a good thing but I am very much aware that if I wasn’t as sure as I am that this is something God called me to I most likely wouldn’t be able to do this. As good, adventurous and exciting as this next year will be, as I’ve mentioned in other blog posts and in conversations this is going to be the hardest year I’ve experienced thus far. Spreading the Gospel is no easy task even in America so I can only imagine how it will be in other countries. I will be stretched until I am broken. I will be leaving behind family and friends and opportunities to grow and create memories with them. I will be wrecked, me and everyone else on my squad of 60ish people. Yet isn’t this exactly what God wants? A broken spirit and a contrite heart? A heart completely surrendered to Him? A heart 100% dependent on Him. He wants us coming to Him for anything because He can do everything. He wants to break us free from depending on ourselves so that He can mold us into what He knows is best for us. Its not always fun going through it but it’s always a joy looking back on the other side and saying, “Look at me now!” haha!
I’ve had plenty of moments where I told God, “Hey, can we just NOT do this. Can I just stay here in this nice comfy zone because where you are calling me is insane!” I don’t want anyone to read my blogs and walk away thinking, “wow she is so brave, she’s amazing.” because I’m not! Not in my own self. God is! Frankly there are moments when I am terrified of the unknowns of this year. I am terrified of the things I will see, the situations I will face, the things I will be asked to do but I’m learning daily to trust in the character of God. He said He would never leave me nor forsake me and that He is with me where ever I go so I shouldn’t be afraid. He said He is my fortress and strong tower. He is my strength and present help. He is the one that makes me brave (check out the song below) so these truths are what I rely on. These truths are what help me kick fear to the curb when it tries to paralyze me.
Writing this I can’t help but think about the movie “The Croods” I confess I may have cried like a baby with snot running all down my face. #NoJudgementPlease. I was just so encouraged by this movie and how as a family (especially the dad) they overcame fear and embraced the unknown. To think of what they would have missed out on if they let fear hold them back. The world, the adventures, the lessons and love and so much more that awaited them in the unknown were incredible. That is how we should relate to God and to our own lives. He has so much in store for us. He has so much that He wants to do in us so we can grow daily to look more like Him. He wants to do things through us to impact those around us.
Will you allow fear to keep you from Gods best? To keep you from being His vessel to circulate change in this world? Give Him your fears in exchange for His bravery!
All of this to say, training camp is this Saturday!! I don’t really know what to expect but from reading other blogs everyone one pretty much tells us to be prepared to be wrecked, in a good Godly way of course, remember He wants a broken and contrite heart. So I enter into this week long training ready for whatever God has for me. Whatever places in my heart He wants to search; *deep breath* LETS GO!! This week I will meet the squad I will be traveling country to country with and I will meet my team who I will be living with eveeerrryyydaaayyyyy. Prayers for the only child would be greatly apprecited! 🙂
Seriously, I ask that you would be praying for all those who will be at camp this upcoming week. First time racers, alumni, leaders, those putting the documentary together. Pray for the Holy Spirit to show up mightily and that we would all be open to what He wants to do in us. Pray for teams as they are formed and pray for travel arrangements to and from camp.
Talk to you all later. 🙂
