I stumbled into a bar last Saturday.
Since being in Gulu, Uganda, my general attitude towards the entire world race has taken a nose dive. I have struggled for most of the race, trying to find the reason God has sent me on this crazy journey, all the while trying to evangelize, preach and teach with my team and be as useful as I can to God, our contacts and my family (team Olur). Kenya was the best month of my entire race, I felt energized, motivated and sincerely into our ministry the entire month. I was actually just determined for my race not to be entirely a struggle and so I had prayed for most of December for God to help me LOVE Africa. And so, I thought I had arrived last month in Kenya. I thought the rest of my race would be nothing but good times.
But when we arrived in Gulu, my entire demeanor changed, I wake up depressed, unmotivated and I have no idea why God has brought me to yet another place where our entire ministry is evangelism. Don’t get me wrong, by now, I’ve learned to share my faith boldly, and I realize I need to share my faith with everyone I come across in my everyday life from now on. BUT, it’s a struggle to wake up every day, knowing that it’s your sole purpose; to do something that you aren’t all that good at and don’t really even enjoy that much. This makes me think two things, that I’m not a good Christian because it’s a struggle for me to enjoy sharing my faith and that I’m missing something else God has for me on this race.
I stopped to take a photo of this little shop, and as I took the photo, a lady named Beatrice emerged and asked me what I was doing. I approached her and told her exactly what I was doing. I said I was taking a photo of her shop and that I was here as a Christian missionary from the United States. I asked her if she had ever heard of Jesus and she said no! (it still shocks me that there are people in the world who’ve never heard the name Jesus… don’t know why, but it does) THAT sent a chill up my spine and so I asked her if I could tell her. She enthusiastically invited me in to the seating area of what I found to be a bar (to the right in the photo) and we sat and talked about God, Sin and Jesus for about an hour. She accepted Christ right then and there! All the other people in the bar listened as well and I talked with them too. I thought about Jesus and how he would preach to those who were considered unclean, outcasts and sinners and how the Pharisees would condemn Jesus for associating with these people. I’m not sure anyone I’m working with here would condemn me for preaching in a bar, but I just thought it was amazing how difficult my day was and I just stumbled into an appointment, seemingly set by God. Had I not been frustrated and ready to give up on evangelism all-together, I would have never made it to that place to tell Beatrice about Jesus.
I guess this taught me that God can even use our bad attitudes for His glory. He can take anything bad and make something good out of it. God can even use our depression and frustration. Maybe God has a divine appointment waiting for you when you give up! Maybe our ‘giving up’ is really more like surrendering to God. Maybe He’s waiting for you to stop struggling so he can move you in the right direction.
