I’m the type to face things head on, that’s how I grew up, and how I live my life now.
So when I began to look at others around me, and compare myself thinking “they are so naturally beautiful, I’ll never look like that.” Or hearing the voice of the enemy saying “you’re not beautiful” as he played into my comparison. I decided to say “no”. God didn’t make a mistake when he created me, he hand picked my eye color, face shape, smile and even my mannerisms. So why is it that when I look in the mirror I decide to pick apart the masterpiece he made?
If he is proud of what he created why aren’t I?
So I decided then and there that I would not stand for this. I love God too much to continue to believe this lie. I no longer wanted to participate in shaming myself.
Instead I chose to face this, and kill that habit along with all the lies of the enemy.
Immediately, I ran into the kitchen where the rest of my team was and asked them to keep me accountable to not wear makeup this whole month.
I truly don’t believe there is anything wrong with makeup, in fact I enjoy wearing it. I just know that makeup often served to pacify an issue instead of helping me address it. So if I took out what used to comfort me, and help me to believe that I am beautiful, I would be left with just me and the Lord. Listening to his voice alone to decide who I am, allowing the thoughts he has of me to define me.
I recently was listening to a podcast by Johnathan David Helser (yes, this is a plug, if I were you I’d look him and his wife up. Their ministry has impacted my life greatly.) In his podast he said :
‘Every girl was created to hear “you are beautiful” and every boy was created to hear “well done”’.
We are created to hear these words by our creator. It has been so sweet how the Lord has met me in this place, he has consistently told me over and over, “you are beautiful, you are beloved” wrapping me up in his thoughts. All I care about is what he thinks of me.
It’s been three weeks of no makeup, and I’m pretty sure I’ll wear makeup again. Only this time when I put on makeup it will be an expression of myself, not a defining of my self-worth.
So here I am, facing my fears head on.
