The immense crowd of mourners was slowly receding but Amy, Samara and I were still standing there. We had pushed and shoved though hundreds of people to get this front row view. We shoved with the faith that if we got to her, God would use us to save her. The human barrier had stopped us just a few feet from where we wanted to be, but we were there now. Freshly mixed cement splattered us as it was being shoveled over a freshly dug and now filled grave. We kept staring and waiting for our God to do something big. But our prayers began to decline as the layers of cement got thicker and people started urging us away. I was getting more and more angry.
The girl was ony 20 years old and had a seven month old baby and husband. Her death was not the will of God. So why, after continued pressing, would the pastors not let us pray for her? Why did it seem like we wanted her alive more than any of her friends and family? Why didn’t God make us a way to get to that casket before it was lowered and covered? And why didn’t God act on our prayers even though we couldn’t lay our hands on her?
I don’t get it. We had boldness and we had faith. These times when God doesn’t move (in ways that I can see, at least) are getting harder and harder. Trusting in the sovereignty of God is getting frustrating. But I think the season of life God is walking me through right now is trusting and continuing to act. I can’t be deterred by these times that I don’t get. He honors obedience and faith. I believe that He hates sickness and death more than I do so it is still my job to get rid of them. It is always hard to persevere and I think that is what I am supposed to do these days and to not forget how He has worked before.
Another thing that God is continually reminding me of is how much He just wants us to love. Love is the source of it all and what we are called to do above everything else. Miracles come out of love, salvation comes out of love, and change comes out of love. When Jesus was on earth the only people He was ever harsh or stern with were the “religious” people. With all the others, it didn’t matter how wicked or corrupt they were, He couldn’t stop himself from loving them. I have no idea why that woman wasn’t raised but I have no choice but to continue loving and acting in faith.
My life is so wierd :). If you would’ve asked me six months ago what my first reaction would be to a dead body, I would’ve said call the hospital and take them to the funeral home. Now I feel like I have to at least try to raise them up. Not quite the typical reaction. It definitely makes life more interesting though 🙂
Other than that scenario, I am loving Uganda. We are staying at a church member’s house and they have a whole guest house for us. I only share a room with one other person and there is one bathroom per only 3 people! We still don’t have running water but we feel so blessed here. The food is amazing and all the people are serving us so well. We are continuing with the door-to-door ministry as well as speaking at schools, Sunday morning church and apparently some “open-air crusades”.
A part of the grounds where we are staying
We did leave Rwanda with a new family that we will miss. We were extremely blessed by them as well, and had a great experience in a beautiful country. Uganda is the last month in Africa and I think it’s going to redeem the continent for me 🙂 Thank you for your continued prayers and support, love you all!
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Goodbye family in Rwanda!
