Hashing out Fund-raising
The first and most common question people ask me about the race is the dreaded, “So how is fund-raising coming?” It comes from a caring place I am sure. It’s an easy question, it’s obviously a huge part of the process leading up to the World Race, and it’s a way to express care about what is going on in my life. That does not change the fact that EVERY SINGLE TIME I cringe internally. I have to answer them honestly: I have not had a garage sale, bake sale, sold t-shirts, or done a pancake breakfast. I have not gone door to door selling coupon books, or anything of the like. To be completely real, I have hardly attempted to brainstorm brilliant ideas to try to convince people to give me money. Shoot, even my approach to sending support letters was… pretty lacking to say the least. What I have done is thrown what money I have earned by my jobs into my World Race fund. I have spent 8-16 hours a week on average working for money that gets put directly into my fund. I have done some photography and put the donations towards the race. And I have, more than anything, been humbled. A ton.
I would say I have been blessed in the area of rarely stressing exceptionally about finances. It’s just money: It does not, despite what lies we are fed, define us or bring us happiness. It is a means to an end and one more reflection of our priorities. You can choose to stress out about it, or like with everything else in this life, do your best to trust God to provide. I was raised by an amazing single mom who raised us four girls on a part time job. She thankfully saw that there was more value in her being home with us and investing in us with love than trying to buy our love (while she did everything in her power to spoil us in other ways as well.) Things were tight, but she always made it work. Thankfully, the way I was raised, has by God’s grace shown me how life is truly not about earning money, and that it will always work out. This philosophy has carried far into my life.
In addition to that, I have never been good at planning anything, knocking things off of my to-do list, or being efficient with, well, anything. Every person in my life can account for that. These two realities make the idea of planning large events to raise money pretty unlikely, so the idea of my going on this incredible adventure with God depending on my ability to, after 22 years of attempts, just suddenly being able to tackle those shortcomings? That would take a miracle. Thankfully, I serve a God of miracles, and He is coming through, just not in the way I expected or others might hope.
My organizational skills have not improved, nor the irrational anxiety I get of upcoming deadlines or tackling large tasks, but He is more than enough. Something as silly as that is not too much for my God to handle, and He has been showing up and providing more than enough for His irreplaceable daughter, which speaks more to the heart of a young woman with some daddy issues than I can describe. I have this lie that has been so much a part of me for so long: That I have to take care of myself. If I don’t, no one will. It does not ultimately matter how many beautifully attentive and sacrificial people come into my life and spoil the crap outta me. Until I feel that from God, until I let the truth that my Heavenly Father is more than enough to take care of me in every sense of the word, that He is here to provide for me, protect my heart, and will not leave me to fend for myself, it is all worthless.
You could say that this is all just an excuse to not put forth the work that goes into large events, and while that is very possibly true, I would rather being wrong and subconsciously justifying such an approach, if this lesson in my Savior’s ridiculous love and provision is the result. I will take that any day over getting to save face and my own pride, “earning the money” myself, as my stubborn heart naturally would prefer. I will gladly take cringing every single time I answer “No, I am not fund-raising” because years of attempting self sufficiency and pride make me want to answer nothing less than “Why, let me tell you all about the success I have had and money I have earned!” How uncomfortable, ridiculous, and humbling it is to have the answer be instead, “ You know, I haven’t hardly lifted a finger, but the Author of my life story and Creator of the universe cares for me enough to come through anyways. I am two-thirds funded already and meeting deadlines before they even come up, just because He loves me that much and wants me to know He has my back now, always has, and always will.”
Some have the very real fear that they will not be financially and physically provided for by the very One they are called by. The crazy thing about our God is that He is incredibly personal. He knew that what my heart needed reassurance of more was that even in my shortcomings, when I feel like a complete mess and have nothing to offer, He is more than enough. He will take care of me, and that realization is worth way more than $16,000. Much love to you all.
