“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors and says, “rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep” [Luke 15:4-6]
What I love about this parable is the clarity it gives to the persistence of Jesus’ love; He is always seeking the lost and graciously celebrating relationship with His children. In this illustration, I believe the Shepherd knew exactly where His sheep was. The Shepherd ventured out because the lost sheep was in the dark to his own whereabouts. Without the Shepherd’s pursuit, that sheep may have never found his way back home.
We are all sheep; we have all wandered off. In our brokenness, stubbornness, sin, pride—the Spirit pursues us in a multitude of ways to bring us to a place of surrender, on the shoulders of our Shepherd. On His shoulders, we find life. Not just moving and breathing, but a rich new existence. We begin to change as the Lord’s pursuit continues and He gives us the courage to risk intimacy and pursue after Him.
I was blessed to be raised to love the Lord. I have known God for as long as I can remember. But when I was in college, Jesus’ embrace deeply captivated my heart in a new way. As God’s grace continues, I learn from my Shepherd. As He sets us down in His pasture, our journey has not finished, but just begun. As I respond out of my depravity, desire for relationship and by the promptings of the Spirit, His invitations have continued to grow. As the Spirit moves me further into His pastures, I know my only vitality is our Shepherd. I am humbled again and again. In my own will, in my own darkness, in my own nature—I am a lost sheep. I cannot do that which He presents to me. But, as we journey deeper, God is constantly refining me and sourcing me. As I strive to abide more deeply, He is constant in my faithfulness and failing. Our Shepherd wants to take us each on a journey.
As God continues to work in my heart, I have felt Him drawing me to missions over the last year. I continually pushed it away, feeling unprepared, unworthy. But persistently, God offered this invitation to World Race—to a community of young people sharing God’s good news around the world in a pretty radical way. He continued to grow a seed planted deep in my heart to a ministry I knew little about. Then, a specific pull to the Expedition Route through the 10/40 window. In truth, the process of applying was quite the back and forth of doubt and faith in submitting to God. As the weeks and months continue, I am overwhelmingly humbled by God through the process. The official acceptance to WR Expedition has been such a mixed bag of emotions. Questions flooded my mind in this type of progression:
Me? Can God really prepare me to be His servant in this way? You’re going to leave everything behind? What about your family? Is this safe? What about your job? How will this all be paid for? You’re going to write a PUBLIC blog? You’re going to live out of a backpack? Don’t you remember God’s will is absolute? Is a simple yes so scary? Haven’t the last years taught you anything of God’s faithfulness? Do you feel that peace? You have the opportunity to share love and salvation in the most unreached region of the world? You get to travel the world for a year?! Lord, how do You want to prepare my heart? Am I dreaming? Why on earth wouldn’t I go?!
God gives me peace in knowing the risk of accepting this invitation is obsolete compared to the risk of saying no and living out of my own will. Abandoning the security of everything I’ve ever known is small in comparison to God’s presence. I am already laughing at some of my questions, knowing God asks me to just calm down and trust Him. There are many sheep to love, many sheep to find. I am not unique in ways of being ‘good enough’ or ‘holy enough’ to do this, but I am marked by Jesus’ redemption. I believe in a God I cannot see with the eyes of my body, but I see everywhere through the eyes of my heart. I believe in a God that has the power to endlessly transform. In communion with my Shepherd, I know the accepted invitation to this expedition has nothing to do with me. Simply to be of His flock—in grace, new life, love and restoration. And then to pass the good news along
“For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods. In his hands are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Come, let us bow in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. [Psalm 95:3-7]
