Have you ever spilled a glass of water? The answer is probably yes and if its not well shout out to your balance skills. Have you ever spilled an empty glass? The answer is probably no because how does one actually spill something empty.
Spilling an empty cup is a representation of how I’m feeling. In the countries I’ve been to I’ve had to press so deeply into the Lord to fill my cup. To fill me so that I’m pouring out of an overflow from God. It’s been such a beautiful and humbling experience to fully rely on God to fan His flame within me….but the truth is the flame right now within me is barely sparking anymore.
I’m tired, I’m empty, I’m broken, I’m hurting. The list goes on but that’s a list of things I feel from my flesh. The things God desires more than anything for me to feel are that I’m energized, I’m overflowing, I’m whole, I’m healed. Right now, in month 7 going on month 8 of my race, my flesh wants to quit. I mean it REALLY wants to quit. My flesh wants to be around my friends and family at HOME. But the little spark inside wants me to keep pushing. It pushes me to wake up each and every day and do ministry even when it seems pointless. Even when we’ve painted every single wall in the place we’re staying, when God says paint one more, I *mostly reluctantly* grab a roller or a paint brush and start painting.
God is kind, what He asks of me is to give an inch and He will carry me a mile. Why does my flesh desire comfort when God desires what brings me life? My godly desires most of the time make my fleshly desires look selfish and undeserving and I think satan takes hold of that because the good christian world says selfishness is wrong but the world says sometimes the only way to get by is being selfish. I wrestle with this everyday. The desire to be a part of the world where my cup is filled everyday by things that bring momentary happiness but ultimately death rather than having to ask every single day for something that the “good christian world” says should come naturally to those who walk with the Lord.
I’ve learned that pressing into God is the only option that satisfies godly desires in my life. I’ve learned that even though I feel empty I’m being made whole. I’m not perfect. I’ll probably struggle with this kind of thing forever but walking in the acceptance of knowing it’s okay to ask God for help is a huge step into becoming more reliant on His spirit rather than my worldly flesh.
I want to leave you with some verses I’m going to be pressing into for the next two months and probably forever and ever because, well, I think they’re real good! I hope you’ll take the time to read them too!
Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG/TPT)
(MSG); Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you’ve been given, sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
(TPT); Let everyone be devoted to fulfill the work God has given them to do with excellence, and their joy will be in doing what is right and being themselves, and not in being affirmed by others. Every believer is ultimately responsible for their own conscience.
Colossians 3:3-4 (NIV/MSG)
(NIV); For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in Glory.
(MSG); Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life – even though invisible to spectators – is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again in this earth, you’ll show up, too – the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
1 Peter 1:17-21 (MSG)
(MSG); You call out to God for help and he helps – he’s a good Father that way. But don’t forget, he’s also a responsible Father, and won’t let you get away with sloppy living. Your life is a journey you must travel with deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. This was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately – at the end of the ages – become public knowledge, God always knew he was doing to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.
1 John 1:6 (NIV/MSG)
(NIV); If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.
(MSG); If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we’re obviously lying through our teeth – we’re not living what we claim.
