dear past kelsey,
It’s okay to forgive people. No one is perfect, everyone at some point will inevitably let you down. It’s okay to have friends even though they might leave or you might leave them. Not all friends are set and stone for a lifetime. Trust me when I say this now because you have no idea yet, you are worthy and you are beautiful. No guy can ever define you. Be bold, be brave, be courageous, be genuine. It will go further than you will ever know. I wish you could know that whatever a boy does to you does not mean every man will do that. Some boys fear God because God sees you as you were meant to be seen and it threatens them, but some men see you as God sees you and they desire to restore so much of your heart if you allow them to. Trust me. I know.
dear present kelsey,
Jeez. You’re a hot mess. But you’re loved. You are so valued. Telling your past self that friends aren’t always forever is still something you need to work on but in a different perspective. You need to stop blaming yourself or considering what could be wrong with you. Friends are like being in a large group of trees in the forest, the littlest one grew with you for a small time, the medium sized one, grew with you for a while but you had to keep growing and that one didn’t, the big ones, they’re the now trees. These are the friends you have now. They might not be forever but you are growing with them right now. It’s okay to outgrow them but at least for this season they are beside you. Stop trying to push away the ones growing with you. You need to understand that even when people tell you how something should be done that you are creative, you are not to allow other people to define how you grow, how you live, how you think, or how you spend time with abba. God knows your heart, God understands the way you think – he made you, every inch of you, perfect. He makes no mistakes. Grow in your personal convictions, don’t grow in other people’s desires for your own life.
dear future kelsey,
Abba, I think I need to start this one with a prayer. I’m praying that my eyes stay focused on you. I’m praying that I begin to understand that choosing the right journey brings the right people. That I fully rely on pushing on towards you and there is no one, no friend, no man, no nothing that slows my drive toward you. Amen. To future kelsey, people may come and try to sink your boat as they see you sailing towards the true light, push yourself to take ahold of the oar and row. When your oar sinks, get out and start swimming. If you’re still not in the light, you keep paddling til your arms can’t paddle anymore and all there is left to do is sink, sink with your head held high. Someone may come alongside you in your journey to stick around, someone may not, don’t you dare let that define how well you will push on. You are so loved, so valued. Created to chase the true light. Never forget that. I hope by this future self you have gotten really good at boundaries with everyone. I also hope that by this future self you have learned to seek the Father’s heart for you and others around you. No one can take away the way you talk with abba, that is your own and will always be your own. Invite people in when you are praying for them but don’t let them define the way abba is showing you things for them or even for yourself. Remember how free you were when you lifted the weight of others and what they expected of you off, and you tuned into what the Lord wanted for you. You were finally free indeed, hold on to that.
