The Lord has recently asked me to do something big that I wasn’t expecting whatsoever. So today’s blog is going to be all about that. I wish that I could say that when I know something is part of the Lord’s plan for me, I’m instantly okay with it. That’s just not always the case though. Dying to yourself everyday is really, really hard. It’s not what our sinful nature, naturally wants to do. It’s what we are called to do though. Even if it’s extremely uncomfortable. When I said yes to the Lord being my Savior I gave Him rule over everything in my life. Even the things I would rather have control over. Things like my dreams and when I think they should happen. With that being said sometimes saying “yes” to the Lord’s plan is really hard. Especially when it just doesn’t make any sense to you, or those around you. The Lord has a right to redirect everything in our lives even if His direction for those things don’t make sense to anyone but Him. With that being said this was definitely the hardest yes I’ve ever had to give the Lord. Anyway, in a past blog I wrote that I would be attending Bethany Global University (my dream school) this coming fall. Now that statement is only partially true. I will still be attending Bethany Global University, it just won’t be this coming fall. It will be a year from this coming fall. Now before the gasps of shock fill the air, let me explain a little more of what the Lord said to me about it. For the past month or so I’ve started to experience a lot of anxiety about going to Bethany Global University this fall and to be honest I was so confused by it. I was like Lord this school is going to set me up perfectly for long term ministry abroad, so why am I feeling this way? I know you’ve called me to attend this school, so why am I filled with so much uncertainty about it? This is my dream. At first I thought it was just normal fear of the future, or maybe the enemy trying to plant seeds of doubt in my mind about God’s will. However, I continued to feel this uncertainty in my spirit that I just couldn’t shake. So I started asking the Lord what He wanted me to do about it. I also decided to email my advisor at Bethany and ask her what my options were. These were the three options I was given: just go straight to school in the fall, defer one semester and have to go to school over the summer to catch up, or defer one whole school year. So I started praying that I would feel peace about one of the first two options, because honestly the third option was automatically not an option for me in my mind. A week came and went, and to be honest, I was a compete wreck at this point. I still didn’t have any more peace about either of the first two options than what I started the week with. Then one night, while I was talking with two of my squadmates about after-the-Race plans, something clicked. I was telling them that God was telling me that I needed to walk out everything I had learned on the field at home first, in order to really solidify the foundation I’ve built on the Race and to be able to thrive at school. I was also saying I wish that I had a little more time in Michigan in order to do those things. I was explaining the options the school had given me and I told them I still wasn’t feeling peace about either of the first two options I had been given. Then one of them said, “it sounds like you already know what you need to do then.” BAM! It hit me like a GIANT bus from the heavens. I needed to take the third option in order to walk out all the Lord wanted me to at home, before I could do well at school. After that realization I started to ask the Lord a lot of questions to see if this is actually what He wanted me to do. Not gonna lie, I was shocked at His responses. He told me that staying home for a year would be Him entrusting me with the “small things” to see if I could be trusted with the big things He has in store for me. In the past I’ve struggled with putting into practice everything I’ve learned on the field when I’ve gotten back home. To be honest I haven’t always approached ministry in the states with the same passion that I’ve approached ministry aboard with, which has been an area of complacency the Lord has asked me to correct.
Anyway, in short (haha says in short after writing almost 800 words) The Lord has asked me to take a year and bring His kingdom to earth in a place where I was least expecting too…home. I’m expectant that He will show up in HUGE ways this coming year as I press into new areas of growth and prepare to walk this all out with Him in the states.
Anyway to end this blog, I wanted to let you all in on some things I am considering doing during this year at home. Here are some of things I’ve been praying about doing:
- First, I would love to meet for coffee with any of you who have been following my Race if that’s something you would like to do. Whether it’s to answer your questions about all He has done this year, to encourage and pray for you, or to just catch up! Please feel free to reach out to me if you would like to grab coffee sometime and we can work something out!
- Having a small group that focuses specifically on ATL ministry/street evangelism similar to what we do here on the field. We would meet maybe once a week and talk about what it practically looks like to be intentional with everyday interactions, and how to effectively meet those around you where they’re at. Then maybe put into practice what we discuss and go out to local areas to pray for people or just build community with those that need it most.
- I am thinking about continuing my blog this year to let you all in on everything the Lord teaches me as I step into this good, but unexpected season. It would be uploaded on a more consistent bases and would mainly cover things the Lord is teaching me as I go through reentry, readjusting, and preparing for school/long term missions.
Anyway, I think that’s pretty much it. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or prayer requests. Thanks for reading my blog and for following my journey! Don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already to get updates whenever I post a new blog!
