What’s goin on with Kelsey??
I was challenged by a squad mate to pray my scariest prayer to God.
I thought my scary prayers looked like “God help me write a broadway musical and use my platform to glorify you.” That seems scary enough…it’s a big dream with lots of pressure and it is something pretty crazy to wish for. As I was spending time with the Lord it became very clear that was not my scariest prayer.
In my mind the world race was going to be temporary. I would slum it for a year, gain world perspective and work on myself before moving back to New York City and marrying a famous basketball player and live out my perfect bougie life fantasy lol. I would joke about always wanting to be kinda rich and maybe famous but there is some truth behind it. I desire a lifestyle that I saw on Instagram and I thought that if I “did my time” God would bless me because I was faithful.
I prayed my scariest prayer ever this week. That if the Lord called me to be a missionary the rest of my life then I would do it. Tbh I definitely choked a bit on the words as they came out of my mouth but I do mean it. There are already so many little winks and confirmation from God because I said yes to this race. I don’t really know why I said yes to the race in the first place whether it was a need for adventure or me just searching for more, but I know it’s exactly where I am supposed to be. For the first time in my life reading my Bible or talking about what God is doing in my life isn’t a burden that I avoid, it’s something I am hungry for and look forward to. What I used to think were coincidences I am recognizing as intentional divine set-ups. I am having such a radical shift of perspective and discovery of my identity that it would be impossible for someone to convince me God isn’t real. No one can argue with an experience 🙂
What’s goin’ on in Costa Rica??
I am falling completely in love with Jaco, Costa Rica. The ministry we’re at is Oceans Edge, run by powerful women storming Jaco bringing hope and redemption. Jaco feels familiar to me, it’s the kind of place I would have previously spent my nights partying and booze-cruisin. Doing ministry in a place where I would normally be partying has been such a perspective shift. Being here has definitely been “easier” considering some of our other squad-mates are in the rural mountains eating chicken necks and struggling to communicate with their community while we eat pizza and watch the sunset on the beach. It’s really easy to feel guilty for your ministry placement when you’re comparing it to what a missionary life is supposed to look like. I’m working on taking comparison completely out of my vocabulary because comparison is the enemy of joy. And I love my joyful life right now.
This month we are painting the town of Jaco starting with light posts. The government is PAYING for all the supplies to paint 39 light posts in downtown Jaco with original artwork and Bible verses. I was shook.
It’s an incredible opportunity to leave a lasting impact on a community hungry for Jesus. You can feel it. We were painting a mural in the park and a man approached us. Without being prompted he told us he was an alcoholic trying to get his life back on track and he appreciated us helping his community. I asked if I could pray for him and I don’t even remember what I said but he started crying. I used some of my testimony to encourage him that he wasn’t responsible for fixing himself in fact if he tried to “fix himself” he would always fail because we can’t do it in our own power. When I surrendered everything to Jesus, that’s when my life changed. I didn’t do much, just opened my hands to all of the things I was holding on so tightly to. It was such a crazy conversation that came from us painting in the park, and I am almost positive that it had a bigger impact on me than it did on him (considering I started sobbing as soon as he walked away). I think it was the first time I realized the brokenness in me can recognize the brokenness in other people and I actually could use the redemption God has brought to my life to encourage others. Whoa cool things.
xoxo
Kels
