This will be a fairly short blog until I can finish compiling my whole month recap, but it’s something that’s been on my heart for a while.
Being faithful in the little things, and that means saying yes to what God asks even if we deem it small with no long term effects or something that we don’t do. Like dancing. “I don’t do dance.” God has been teaching me that mindset is a selfish cop out because we don’t want to look the fool or we really don’t know if that ability is within. Either way you’re quitting without even trying, and that I know is something we are not called to do.
Coming on the race was a big yes for me. It was a big yes to my friends and family back home that let me go, but since I’ve been on the race I cannot think of any super pivotal moment that has rocked my world yet. I mean it’s end of month four. Shouldn’t I have raised someone from the dead by now?
It’s interesting how the atmosphere of the race is designed to pull things out of you whether that’s some crap you’ve kept hidden for years, or expectations you didn’t even know you had. Your team is your sound board. Our mentors the coach to call out all that we can be if we choose to listen. There’s the catch 22. “If” we choose.
I finished the book of Jeremiah and through a series of obvious and annoying road signs God directed me to Matthew. I wanted to read the other prophets, but this was a yes I could not ignore. To be honest, I struggle with scripture and that’s mostly due to growing up in the church my whole life. I “know” the stories, but I don’t know them. So God has been teaching me to come at it with a fresh perspective that I truly know nothing and to take my sweet time anticipating he will reveal something to me eventually in the passage. This month our relationship went to a whole new level and my insatiable hunger to spend time with him shows no signs of waning.
Only 3 chapters in and I got stuck on the part when Jesus began calling his disciples. The first four literally dropped what they were doing in that very moment and followed him. They had never met the guy before and they just up and go? What? So a question crossed my mind, “what about that moment made them so drawn to you Jesus to act that way?”
“The same thing that has called you to me now.”
I got a word early in the month for our squad which I will get to share at debrief, but the premise of it being how uncomfortable are you willing to be? Will you allow him to shatter the “I don’t do (blank).” mindset? Will you ask yourself why you think that’s something you cannot and will not ever even attempt? Sorry not sorry if I struck a nerve on that one. Stop trying to be the cool kid. You’re lack of participation doesn’t impress, it’s robbing you and others the opportunity to see what you’re capable of and letting God surprise you.
Something that startled me about this realization is most of the time Jesus will only ask once, and if you say no, or a slight maybe, he doesn’t try to convince you; he moves on to someone who will say yes. The thought of being passed over terrified me because it meant I was settling. That is now why I started this journey. I don’t want any mediocre blessing or experience, I want the fullness of what this opportunity brings, and like they warned us at training “do NOT let yourself lose a month.” It doesn’t mean God won’t grow you or use you because he will. How much depends on you and you alone.
At the beginning of this Unsung Heroes month my team nominated me as the prayer warrior. They saw my heart for prayer, and wanted me to grow in it more, which was my desire as well. Even if it wasn’t I probably would’ve reluctantly said yes knowing God had something to show me in being obedient to that small yes. Oh buddy has he, and I’ll get into that during my next blog. What seems like a small yes, I know is just one more building block to something bigger I can’t picture yet. Sometimes God does ask us to take a big leap of faith, but like I said, it’s more a series of small skips and stumbles. Stretching yourself doesn’t have to always be paralyzingly intimidating like jumping in the middle of the dance floor among a mass of people. It can be simple as dancing around your room to some Happy by Pharrell Williams and having a good laugh at yourself. Then when the day comes you can go all Step Up like a boss.
So I’m only asking once, will you say yes? Because it’s not about what you think you “know.”
