Hope is the one thing that can keep bringing life to the spirit when everything else going on around says otherwise. The heart waits expectantly for something to be fulfilled. God awakened some things within me on my race, and gave new life to areas that desperately needed revived. I came back with a deeper desire to make a difference in my generation, and a couple ideas that seemed far fetched because I didn’t even know where to start. I narrowed my choices to a few options: lead a trip, get a job for a while, or do The Fellowship. My decision came down to answering the question of “in what way can I do most for the kingdom?” After I read back through my journal and reflected on what I was feeling, I made the choice to do this Fellowship thing not even knowing if I could get the support. It’s not like raising funds to do a mission trip where people have a better idea of what you’re doing. All this to say, I know I didn’t do a good job in my first blog explaining my heart behind this decision. Primarily because I couldn’t quite clarify it for myself either. This time it’ll be different.
In a podcast I heard recently the speaker mentioned something God revealed to him in prayer one day as he battled the thing I’m sure all of us have said at one point; which is “Lord, if it’s your will…” It’s not bad to do that with decisions, but God’s response was “what friend would I be if I told you what to do all the time?” God loves it when we consider his heart in matters, but he loves it even more when we can make a decision he can bless because we want to honor him in our choice. Kinda like the difference of doing something because our parents asked us to, or choosing to do it on our own without being asked. With that in mind, I’m choosing to do The Fellowship because I believe it’s the best way to use my artistic talents and experience as well as all I learned on the Race and combine them. The mentorship I will get through this will show me ways in which I can apply all of that. Even better is the opportunity to take on a project of my own that could potentially turn into something bigger.
I believe my generation has a heart like Joshua and Caleb. We’re not afraid of facing the giants and going for the land beyond. In some way, we want to make our mark and share the stories of those we encounter. God showed me my purpose in life is to reveal him in the unseen. I love being able to point out things I see in a person or situation and recognize God’s hand on it. My hope is through this program I can take what I learn and start a teaching program for future missionaries with skills like mine to use for their host or, start an online magazine that has a collection of stories and pictures of people making a difference not just in humanitarian aid, but even at a nine to five. Something I learned on my race is God is already working wherever we ended up serving; we just got the privilege of getting to play a part in that for a little while. Revealing God in the unseen means through sharing all these smaller stories we begin to collectively see how it fits into the magnum opus that is Jesus’.
I know to a lot of people what I’m pursuing doesn’t make much sense because it does sound like an internship or grad school. Some have suggested I follow that route instead. What I’m asking though is for investment in a future vision God has put on my heart and I know will come to pass. Honestly I feel like Noah when he was building the ark waaaaay before the flood. I’m sure he had days where he questioned and wondered if he heard God right. There are moments I fear I made a rash decision, but time and again God has reminded me in some small way I’m where I need to be and he will honor my decision.
That being said, I still have a deadline to meet of $3,000 by March 1st. I ask that you partner with me in this because I truly believe it will make a bigger impact than when I spent 11 months overseas. I was changed more personally then, and now I want to make an even bigger impact for others here now that I’m back
