So my blog is finally up! Now the open question of what to write… how I got here?
If you had told me 8 months ago I’d be in this position I would’ve cowered at the idea. God was flipping my world upside down and I was just trying to get enough for the day. I guess that happens when you ask Him to clean house and leave no stone unturned. It was a struggle pressing forward each day with that grinding feeling in my heart and pressure from the enemy. Like Moses wandering through the desert he had no idea the calling God had for him. When we are facing that intense pain every day we cannot see past what is before us. As 1 Peter says “so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” It definitely felt like I was being put through the flames. I wanted to beg for it to stop, but once that process began I knew I had to walk it out.
I always wanted to do missions, but for how long I never knew. 2 weeks? A month? Seemed like enough time to get my feet wet and see what it was like. The more research I did the more I began to ponder a whole year. Come February I decided to apply. After all, if God didn’t want me to go He wouldn’t let me pass the interview process. Long story short, after answering some very hard personal questions, a couple long, vulnerable interview calls and waiting roughly a month I got the thumbs up. I was elated and was shaking this was truly happening. God was taking me not only to places I’ve always wanted to visit, but the fact I will be used to help the hurting was so so humbling. This is a privilege not many get to experience in their lifetime.
“For many are called, but few are chosen.” I get what that means now. I heard an example that goes like this: When you’re moving and asking people to help, you call whomever you can. Out of that only a few decided to put aside what they’re doing to help and you point to them saying “ok, I choose you then.” I don’t believe there are such things as taking risks with God. Taking a risk implies potential failure and disappointment, but God does neither. He never forces us to put aside what we’re doing to respond, the offer is always there. It’s really hard knowing I will miss 2 of my good friends getting married, I’ll miss my best friend’s twins have their first birthday, I’ll miss my family and cuddling with my dogs, and lets be honest…I’m really going to miss showering lol. All of these though are blessings. I have a chance to be used as one for someone else. What a beautiful thing!
