The race doesn’t get easier; it gets harder.
I know that probably made your heart sink if you’re reading this as a future racer, but when something is hard it doesn’t make it a bad thing. We’ve wrapped up month 5 here in Malawi and again had to bid farewell to amazing contacts that became another extension of my ever growing family. Toward the end I had the choice of either shutting down emotionally to avoid crying or loving even harder shedding bitter tears hoping no one from my team sees me, but we’re all in the same boat.
This was my first time in Africa, and honestly I felt impartial about it as a whole. It’s like you haven’t truly done missions unless you’ve been to Africa so I more or less saw it as an experience and a nice addition when picking my route for the race. That way I can say “oh yeah I’ve done missions there too!” Deep down though it was more like “everyone goes there. This is so cliche.” However, God is not one to be seen as predictable so I still had some slight angst as to what would happen.
Upon arrival you could immediately feel a difference in the atmosphere besides the lack of ungodly humidity we lived through in Southeast Asia. It felt peaceful and joyful. There was a welcomed friendliness that could put anyone at ease, and Malawi is known to be “the warm heart of Africa.” It didn’t take long for that to be apparent. At this point we had already been reassigned our new teams which always leaves room for uncertainty, but Hannah was serving as leader again from our previous team so it was a nice familiarity for us both as we all became acclimated to our new country and ministry. We were greeted at the airport by one of our hosts in a rickety white van that had seen better days. After we bid our old teammates and close friends on the squad a solemn farewell everyone stuffed their body bag sized packs in the van and squeezed in like sardines. Welcome to Africa folks.
We hit the bumpy, paved (and sometimes dirt) roads to our ministry site drinking in the breathtaking beauty of the Malawi landscape. Rolling hills, a few mountains in the distance, scattered mud or brick huts, and more goats than I ever knew could exist. Despite being exhausted from about 48 hours of travel we began to perk up with each new turn and seeing the people walking along the road. Most would gape at us with confused looks, but some would offer a warm smile and a wave. That was when we learned our first word in Chichewa: azungu, which means “white.” The kids loved chanting it as we went past.
Shortly before we made it to our site we got our first glance of the famed African sunsets, and no picture or words can do it justice. It just warms you to the soul and there’s a sense of home. The thrill of a new place still existed in our hearts accompanied by anticipation for what God would do. I think it’s safe to say we all came with high hopes and there was potential they would be met somehow. We didn’t get to our complex until late in the evening where we were led to one of the buildings that serves our meals. We happily gulped down some rice with tomato sauce, chicken, and greens. I made the mistake of drinking 2 glasses of orange drink concentrate thinking the 2L bottle was like a normal thing of soda. Nope. Thankfully the sugar rush crashed in time for bed and I slept like a rock. It has since been the running joke of the month.
We have been blessed to serve with Timothy Harvest Ministries which primarily focuses on discipleship and community outreach. There was no shortage of things for us to do which was awesome. We had playing with kids, visiting elders and praying with them, door to door evangelism, leading staff bible study, and preaching on Sunday’s. The area in which we lived butts up next to a reservoir and had ample farmland with corn. Currently they’re working on their poultry house to have chickens for eggs and meat. Their goal is to be totally self-sustaining and are well on their way. There’s open field space for kids to come play and the complex also hosts numerous conferences throughout the year that are different forms of discipleship training. It’s amazing what God is doing here and being out in the country with views all around was stellar. We were thrilled to finally have a perfect place to put up all our hammocks!
Our team had a rough start physically as a cold was attempting to make its way around, and toward the end of our first week I caught it. On top of that I got an abscess on my back that became infected where a cyst was right along my spine. It hurt to bend or twist and sleeping was rough, but I wanted to use this as an opportunity to grow in believing for healing and so for 3 days after feedback we would pray for it and our contacts did as well, but nothing happened. We had prayed for healing numerous times on our evangelism walks and my heart was excited to receive it for myself. Nothing. Oddly enough I wasn’t disappointed, but grateful it never got worse. Instead, through being sick from my cold and that spot on my back it was causing me to rely on my new team and ask for support. Simple as it was, it’s kinda new for me. I’m the one always giving it.
After a few days Hannah came with me and one of our hosts to the government hospital which was something out of 28 Days Later. You could smell the BO from all the people inside before we even walked in. Amazingly though God already had connections for us lined up. The director of THM’s wife worked at the pharmacy there, and she walked us through everything quickly. I hated feeling like I was cutting in front of people who were there long before me, but surprised at how random strangers would ask how I was and give me high fives. Hannah pointed out how everyone’s demeanor was so different than our hospitals at home. People were smiling and laughing and stopped to see how each other were. That began to put me at ease before I got my back stabbed to be drained. Which leads me to this fun story…
We get led to a small side room with a rusty sink, cabinets that were falling apart, a bed that looked like it had tiny drops of blood stained into the plastic, and an old sterilizing machine that had a couple scalpels on the floor. There was not much else to do but uncomfortably chuckle. Then after standing around for what seemed like an eternity, a random doctor found us and asked what we were doing. We explained, and he led us to another room. Mind you this hospital hasn’t been updated since probably the 70’s and there was no way to tell who was a doctor or what because no one wore scrubs.
The room was a type of operating room. It had newer lights, and in the corner a couple machines. In the middle was the “operating table” which basically looked like a flat dentist chair combined with Sweeny Todd. At this point I really began to freak out a bit, but Hannah being Hannah was taking pictures of everything and making hilarious commentary which did help put some of my panic at bay. Next to said operating table was a trash can where every once in a while someone would come in to discard what we would consider biohazard material like gauze covered in God knows what and soiled cloth. After that we both just lost it because the ridiculousness of this situation just didn’t seem real. Finally an older gentleman came in and put a bed sheet over the operating chair and told me to lie face down…wait, what? Just a bed sheet? He laid out his instruments as I got on my stomach and gave one more “help me” glance to Hannah who was trying not to laugh. He stuck my back with a numbing agent and I bit down on my bandana. Then he cut a slit in my back and Hannah gave me the play by play:
“Ok he’s cutting the spot. It’s not deep enough he’s cutting deeper and squeezing. Oh. Yup there it is. A tablespoon of green nasty came out. Nothing now. I think he got it…just kidding there’s more…so much cooler than Gray’s Anatomy.”
I was comforted when another random man came in, saw my face, saw my back, shook his head and walked away chuckling and shaking his head. At this point it was hard not to laugh myself, and I pretty much felt like a badass. The man who drained my abscess did great work and I left with some antibiotics and a fun ride on the back of a bike taxi home down a huge hill. The next day I let Ariah play doctor and pull out the packing and squeeze out whatever was left. She was a bit too eager, but it was a great bonding experience.
Even with all of that it was a fabulous month. I loved doing door to door, and I got to preach 3 times which was awesome because it’s something I’ve been wanting to grow in. One of them was at a new church plant in the Muslim community we had been visiting. It was incredible because the first service was just a bunch of people gathered in someone’s packed dirt yard under a few trees. We danced and sang to the beat of African drums. My big lesson though was just getting back to the basics of my walk with Christ and spending time with him for the sake of spending time with him. I’ve been called a funnel for the Holy Spirit, but I honestly never gave much thought as to what function the funnel actually serves. In the beginning I’d spend my quiet time seeking words or something worth sharing, but I began to notice God was holding out on me and I started getting frustrated. I’d sit with my journal, pencil in hand in expectancy and nothing. Nada. Not even a picture. So like any good little Christian, I try harder. Nope. Finally it occurred to me I was missing something. Intimacy. I was challenged to just sit for an hour each day without an agenda. Sounds easy enough…the first 3 days I thought I was going to lose my sanity.
Something I loved about the place we were staying is along the reservoir were concrete blocks to sit on. I could go there alone, but not break WR code of actually being alone since it was still ministry property and I was within eyeshot. And so I sat. No notebook. No music. No camera. Just me and his creation. I had forgotten how much I loved being in it without an agenda. Then I began thinking about the whole funnel thing. It’s job is simple enough. You use it to streamline liquid into a container, but the amount of the stream is dependent on how much is poured in and how quickly. I was trying to act more like a juicer. God made his position well known, “You cannot force what I am not ready to give. I control the flow.” Cool.
Took a good week before I began to feel a difference. My mind was settling, and my team gave me feedback I just seemed more peaceful. I was terrified what mess God was going to pull up in my silence, but he didn’t. A little kingfisher would dive here and there playing darts with its dinner which was the extent of disturbance I’d experience. They say the best friendships are the ones that you can sit in silence without feeling like things need to be said. That’s all this was. I cherish those moments with my close friends at home and with a few on the squad when the rare opportunity presents itself, but I forgot about Jesus. Not only that, it took away a piece of control I forgot I had in that my best efforts can bring some change, but he is the one that truly transforms. I could love and serve my team better from this place of peace simply from doing “nothing” by the world’s standards.
I meditated on the passage in Matthew 13 where Jesus talks about finding rest, but particularly the part where he says “I am humble and gentle in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Gentle and humble. Those are fruits from rest, and something I deeply desired to walk in more. Now, I can confidently say I’m walking that out better and carrying over into the next month.
We wrapped up Malawi in the best way possible spending a couple days right on the beach of the famed Lake Malawi. Not far off shore were a couple islands, and some of us took a boat out to snorkel for a little while (don’t worry we all got parasite meds just in case). I’ve never seen so many colorful freshwater fish and they would come up to nibble on our toes. This was also the weekend we bid farewell to our Squad Leaders whom had been our guides and friends the past 5 months. Erika shared with the squad the story of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet, and pointed out the symbolism of him doing it as he commissioned them to spread the Kingdom. He was telling them where they would walk was clean and holy as messengers. We, as a squad, were now going to have our feet washed by the leaders. So we silently shuffled into 3 lines facing the lake with the sun starting to make its way down the horizon behind one of the islands. I was in line for Erika as she has been my closest mentor. As she began to wash my feet in the bucket praying she glanced up and said how proud she was of me and we both began to choke back tears. This moment, combined with the scenery was nothing short of perfect. I couldn’t get over that this was my life right now and just how incredibly good God is to let me experience all of it.
Maybe it’s because I had little to no expectation that has made Africa incredible so far, or it could be God surprising my heart. We’ll go with a bit of both. As we reach the halfway point this is the crucial time for us racers to make a decision that we can keep pressing in regardless of how we feel (which by this point is the most annoying term ever -gag-), or close up shop mentally and emotionally. It’s too easy to coast from here. I’ve learned from my teammate Cindy though that after a few laps you can gain a rhythm that make the run more bearable and enjoyable. I’m hoping to catch my second wind soon. Until then when I get decent internet I’ll catch you on the flip side.
Monthly Highlight Reel
1. One of the dogs at our complex had 4 adorable puppies we doted over.
2. I close lined myself on a hammock and almost fell in the reservoir trying to do a yoga pose.
3. We killed over a dozen spiders with a few the size of our hand. One attacked the broomstick, and another screamed like a dying cat when sprayed with Raid. Also depending on how loud Ariah screamed we could determine the size of the spider.
4. While traveling between the clusters of houses to share the gospel people would start walking with us and at one point we had 30+ people we sat and spoke with about Jesus. Half gave their lives to Christ.
5. I was told I was going to get married soon after the race. Totally received it wholeheartedly.
6. Our whole team started working out, and amazingly I made the conscious decision to run regularly.
7. We were all given names in Chichewa by our hosts that reflected our personality. Mine was Pemphero which means praise.
