So, it has been awhile since I have last blogged. I have been putting it off for some time saying that I am to busy at the moment, or there is to much to say, and I also felt that there was no point in blogging because no one reads them anyways. BUT God has moved in more ways than I could imagine over the past few weeks that has to be shared. I have been on some serious Spiritual high’s and lows lately and looking back God has revealed His purpose for them in my life in every moment.
I know that my family is still having a hard time getting past the fact that I am leaving them behind and that I have no money. So how I’ll afford to do this, they aren’t sure. They are trying to hard to be encouraging and help me do what God is calling me to do and it has been a huge blessing. Something quite amazing happened to my mom the other week and I am so thankful for how amazing God works. My mother is a nurse in a doctors office just down the road and has new patients come in and out all the time. Well just the other week a woman came in that she had never met before. She began speaking about the missing Malaysian Airline that went missing. My mom and her got to talking and my mom told her how I was leaving very soon for the World Race and how she is so scared for me because of things like this. The woman began telling her how her nephew a few years ago sold all his possessions and moved to Thailand to do mission work. After some more talking the woman told my mom that she felt as though God had a reason for her coming to the doctor today and slid something into my mom’s pocket. The woman said for her not to contact her or anything and as my mom went to get her one of my flyers the woman was gone. She had left 400 dollars in her pocket for me. A complete stranger gave me more than anyone one that I know has. I got a text right after from my mom that said, ” God sent you an angel to my work today!” After not getting a response for hours I had no idea what she was talking about until she finally told me.
I was so overwhelmed with joy! Not because I now had 400 dollars, but because God chose to do this through my mom. My mom got to experience God in a way she never has before. She got to see how Faithful He is to those who believe in Him and say “Yes” to His callings! He has also been at work in my little sisters heart. She and I have never really been close, but she has been doing all she can to help me fundraise (not sure if it is cause she really wants me to do this, or because she really wants me gone). She has gotten to reach out to her friends and had me come to speak at Teens for Christ at her high school. God is just doing big things and I can’t wait to see what else He has in store.
God has used every single one of my weakness in this process. I have been continuously praying for God to give me opportunities to talk about what God is calling me to do and He always answers… just not in the ways that I am hoping for. Every time I ask, He gives the opportunity to go speak somewhere. Public Speaking is not my specialty and not my favorite. I went and spoke at Otterbein Methodist Church in Johnson City last month and the first thing I said as I made it to the mic was, ” Well this is awkward.” I am not a very smooth talker and I always get this adrenaline rush while in front of crowds that causes me and my voice to shake and be out of breath. It is quite embarrassing but I pushed through. From speaking to this church and to the teens of Bearden High School I was able to share with them things that are going on in the world that they didn’t know about. God was able to use my weakness to bring Him Glory, and even though I still hate it I will continue to say YES to every opportunity.
I have recently been super frustrated and bitter about fundraising which has caused me to shut people out and not want to update anymore. I have been really annoyed about only getting “likes” on my statuses and not having people step up and support me. If I was paid 5 bucks for every time someone liked my status I would be fully funded already. I knew fundraising was going to be difficult but after having no donations for a solid month I was ready to raise some cain. People who I thought would reach out to help me haven’t and the ones that I didn’t think would help, have! It’s a terrifying process. Knowing that if I don’t meet the deadlines I won’t get to go. I’m secretly in panic mode about funding all day every day no matter how much I know that God is going to provide!! Just the other night I was journaling out all my frustrations when BAM God hit me hard. I’m complaining about people only liking what I am doing and not actually doing anything to help. God said, ” Kelsey, every Sunday morning my church “Likes” what the Pastor has to say yet continues doing the same routine. My people “Like” what the Bible promises but they don’t do what it says.”
That hit me hard because I am one of those people. I am a liker and not always a doer. I make excuses to not do things, but I am going to change that. I am going to become more intentional. I am going to start doing life and not just liking it. I recently just finished a book by Bob Goff called LOVE DOES ( this is a must read). His life is the dream life in my opinion. He says YES to life. He has met crazy amazing people, gone to a million places, and has done amazing things all because he was willing to do. He says,“Living a life fully engaged and full of whimsy and the kind of things that love does is something most people plan to do, but along the way they just kind of forget. Their dreams become one of those “we’ll go there next time” deferrals. The sad thing is, for many there is no “next time” because passing on the chance to cross over is an overall attitude toward life rather than a single decision.”
We need the DO part of Faith. It is one thing to just have Faith, but its another to actually Do Faith and to do Love. If everyone in the world would just do love, I can’t even imagine how different the world would be.
God is pulling me in closer and bringing me deeper each day. I am learning to let go of the way I use to live. Just watching and waiting to see what I am suppose to do. I am learning to just say Yes and step out on Faith. Preparing myself for this new chapter in my life is still scary and frustrating but I cannot wait to meet and love on His people all over the world. To live in total abandon and to only live off the Love and Faithfulness of our God. I’ve just been waiting for this adventure to start but it has already started.
I couldn’t be doing what I am doing without my family, friends, and my supporters out there. I have wanted to say forget it but you have showered me in love and encouragement. I just wanted to say thank you for believing in me when I don’t. I love each and every one of you and pray that God showers you in blessings every day.
Sorry this blog is all over the place and about multiple things but it feels good to let it all out. Continue to lift my team and I up in prayer as we come to our first deadline! Praying big and audacious prayers. God is going to blow us all aways!!!
” So pull me a little closer
Take me a little deeper
I wanna know your heart, I wanna know your heart.
Because your love is so much sweeter
Than anything I’ve tasted
I wanna know your heart!”
– Closer by Steffany Frizzle
