Today something odd happened. I was in my room just messing around on the computer when all of a sudden I found myself putting on my tennis shoes. Not quite sure where I was going, I suddenly found myself on the treadmill in the gym at my apartment. I don’t go to the gym and if I do its on a very rare occasion.So I started running and listening to the new playlist I had just made and let my thoughts start to run with me. I started to think about my life and its future, when all of a sudden FEAR crept in.
I started thinking about everything I was afraid of. My fear of leaving my family for 11 months to go to all these strange places, my fear of not being good enough, my fear that my sins will keep me from being able to do what God wants me to do, fear of being alone, and fear of death. I tried to run faster thinking that I could outrun the fear, but it didn’t work. Suddenly through the worship music that was playing in the background of my thoughts God spoke to me.
“I don’t deserve your love, but you give it to me anyway. Can’t get enough, you’re every thing I need. And when I walk away, you take off running and come right after me. It’s what you do, and I don’t deserve you!!” –Plumb
I began meditating on this song and slowly all my fears melted away. God is such an amazing God, that I am no where even close to deserving. He gives me every thing that I need and He is always running after me when I start loosing sight of Him. I started thinking about why was I so afraid. God began to fill my heart with scripture. Then I realized that FEAR is a liar. Fear is not from God, it is from the enemy himself.
God doesn’t give us a fearful spirit, instead He tells us to be strong and courageous.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
-2 Timothy 1:7
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
I no longer need to fear, God is always there.
- My fear of past sins-
“ I , I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins” –Is 43:25
- My fear of not being good enough-
“ being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” – Phil 1:6
- My fear of not being wanted and alone-
“ Fear not, for I am with you: be not dismayed, for I am your God: I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” –Is 41:10
- My fear of death-
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39
The definition of Fear is to be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening. God doesn’t put anything in our lives that we can’t get through without Him by our side. Fear is not in our DNA, it is something that creeps in when we loose our Faith and Trust in our Savior. Without fear, but with Faith, God is going to use me in ways I couldn’t even imagine. I don’t know what is going to happen in my life next year or many years from now, but I know that with God is is going to be the most amazing adventure of my life! No longer will I live in fear!
” Lord I pray that as you lead me down this narrow road, that fear will not over take me. I want to live a life for you and experience everything you have planned for me to experience. I pray that as I prepare for my trip and as my future squad members prepare for our race that we will not fear, that we will prepare our hearts for bring Christ to all the world. Let us not worry about tomorrow and let tomorrow worry about itself. It is so easy to let fear creep in, but Lord fear does not come from you. Open our eyes and let us see you and fully Trust in your plan for our lives! Thank you so much for your Grace, your Love, your Son, you Mercy, and for your Peace. Amen!! “
