On Sunday, Novemeber 23rd, my 17 years of playing competitve soccer finally came to an end. As you can imagine, my brain is still trying to wrap my head around the fact that a game I have put my time, sweat (A LOT of sweat), tears, and passion into for so long came to an end. I will definitely still continue to play soccer for enjoyment, but I will miss the feeling of adrenaline while playing in big conference games or coming together as a team to overcome adversity.
Growing up, I always identified myself as a soccer player. Whether it was on the playground in elementary school or walking the high school hallways with my GAC soccer sweatshirt, I wanted people to know that I was a soccer player.
Soccer was my identity.
I enjoyed being labeled as a “soccer player.” I loved the attention I received and it was an identity that I let consume every part of me to the point where soccer wasn’t just a part in my life anymore. Soccer was life. I began to feel that if I quit playing soccer, I would lose my identity.
After I committed to play college soccer at Columbus State University, I had numerous goals for myself. I wanted to win a bunch of awards and leave a lasting impact on the soccer program. I had always dreamt of being an All-American before I graduated and winning a National Championship.
I wanted the glory.
I wanted my name to be known.
As my freshman and sophomore years went by, I started getting discouraged that I would not reach the goals I set for myself. I started doubting my abilities and became so caught up with my unsuccessful performances that I sulked in my own failures rather than celebrated the team performances. It became hard for me celebrate others’ success on the field when I wasn’t finding success. I only cared about me.
Throughout my junior year as I became more intimate with my relationship with God, I became convicted of a reality that I did not want to face. Soccer isn’t life, and soccer is temporary. I realized that my identity should not be found in soccer…and getting recognition through awards was no longer my reason for playing.
My identity is in Christ alone.
Suddenly a life that I had lived for so long was starting to become less important. My attitude on the field started to change as I knew that God was using me and my athletic ability to glorify Him.
Before the start of my senior season, I constantly prayed that in everything I did, I would leverage God’s glory. Instead of being worried about stats and awards, I wanted to be more concerned with having the image of Christ shining more brightly than the image of myself. This season really taught me how to worship God through soccer. I would find myself praying during games and just enjoyed being able to glorify God through playing and encouraging my teammates on the field.
So on November 23rd when I realized with a minute left on the clock that this was going to be my final game of my soccer career, I felt God’s presence sweep over me. As the final buzzer rang, I fell to my knees and praised God for the amazing opportunity to worship Him through this incredible sport. The only thing I was able to comprehend at that moment was feeling thankful and blessed to have had the privalege to play with an amazing group of young ladies.
Soccer over the years has filled me with some of my best memories and friends, and these times I will never forget. Even though this chapter in my life has come to a close, I have now found my new identity that is eternal in Jesus Christ!
In Christ…
I am unconditionally loved.
I am made in God’s image.
I am totally accepted.
I am a child of the King.
I am compleletly forgiven.
I am free.
