This is a little writing out of my journal written moments after saying bye to my parents, getting on a plane and realizing there was no turning back….
“Well, I’ve found myself on a plane heading to Chicago where Launch will take place. I’ve said bye to my parents, definitely not the easiest thing I’ve ever done, quite the opposite. I’d rather take five Bio 160 finals consecutively than repeat what just took place. Dad walked me to the gate where an attendant was waiting to receive my boarding pass, of course there was technical difficulties, and the computer wasn’t accepting my boarding pass. My first thought was frustration, then I realized my heavenly Father was granting me a few more minutes with my earthly father because He knows how much I love the seconds spent with him.
Stepping onto the plane, I lost it, tears came, and I can’t stop them. And I don’t want to. My feelings are real and I have no shame. I’m sure all passengers on the plane are thinking ‘who is this unfortunate soul??’ However, unfortunate would be the last word to describe my situation. The pain I feel is a direct correlation to the richness of my life, you see I have the best friends and family this world has to offer J They are beyond wonderful and their support has been overwhelming, which made the “goodbye process” all the more challenging.
Now that I am on a plane, no going back, tears flooding my eyes, I am asking myself WHY? WHY I am I going on the World Race? People have asked me this question multiple times, and I’ve always had a response. At the moment, my mind is blank. But even in this “blankness” I hear the Father whispering to my heart and this is what He is saying…
Jesus is everything. Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. With a perspective on eternity, you realize time is of the essence, and the gospel is an urgent message that needs to be shared. Jesus gave up his heavenly robe and stepped down into a mess called humanity, willingly might I add. Now that is sacrifice. In a some way, you sacrificing 11 months of comfort, familiarity, and a “normal” life to fully invest in MY Kingdom and love on MY people. At the end of these 11 months, you will end up losing nothing but gaining SO much. So, you’re not really sacrificing, I’m putting you in a process where you’ll learn even more what I means to live, to love, to give up one’s self, to be rich in faith, and so much more.
As God is speaking this to me, His peace is so thick around me. Ha, I actually kinda feel sorry for everyone not joining me!! Wow, I am in for something huge. With that being said, I’m asking myself again, is this all worth it?? Without hesitation, my spirit is screaming YESSSSSSSSSSSS! Jesus is worth it. His Kingdom is worth it.”
“What is more, I considers everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in HIM” Philippians 3:8-9
