Preface:
A squatty potty is a hole in the ground used for bathroom purposes. Sometimes it’s a ‘nice’ squatty and it’s porcelain, it can be a concrete slab, and sometimes it’s literally a hole in the ground. What we have in the US is referred to as a ‘western toilet.’
Fact (or opinion): it’s easier to squat in the country or the woods then it is to use the squatty sometimes.
Disclaimer: I have been EXTREMELY blessed and had access to western toilets in Nepal, India and Thailand.
In Nepal, I used a squatty once or twice – no big deal. India is where things got interesting. At the cross building we had western toilets (2 for 40 ish women) but when we went to the villages every evening we never knew what we would encounter.
The first day of ministry we were all a little dehydrated so we don’t know what the bathroom situation was; on the second day we had fun figuring out the bathroom. Sarah, Courtney and I asked to use the toilet. (Most Indians know this one English word, the rest if the adventure is a mess of communication with a lot of charades.) So we go across the road to a little room, we look in and it’s a concrete slab. We then confer and tell the women again that we need a toilet. They discuss something over us and lead us into a field with some woods to the side. She motions for us to go there….we all look at each other and Sarah heads in first. She didn’t go very far and the woman didn’t like that, so Courtney went further in. Apparently it still was not far enough so I went in even further. This was not a bad experience as I stated before it’s easier when you don’t have to aim. When we were finished, the woman had a bucket and we washed our hands and rinsed off our feet. We had all successfully had our first bathroom experience in India. Sometime between ministry and leaving, Sarah and I had to go again. It was dark at this time. We found our lady and asked for the toilet again thinking ‘we can do this.’ We head out towards the field again but when we tried to go into the woods… She stopped us. We looked at each other really confused. She pointed to the wider open field kinda behind a haystack. If anyone would have walked in from even further out we would have been seen. So that was Day 1.
Like I said, some squatties are nicer than others and we can usually tell what we are working with when we pull in. Our next adventure was about a week later in a small, rural village. Sarah, Courtney and I asked for the toilet before church. We were taken down a back alley to one place down the way. (Sometimes we didn’t have a clue who’s house we were going to, sometimes they weren’t church members, and sometimes they weren’t even there.) I am not sure about this person but one woman took us and we left with two. We took our turns in the very nice, tiled and porcelain squatty and were ready to go back to the church. However, we passed the church and went to a home. The woman wanted to feed us and we politely declined, and after very broken English and limited Telegu; we figured out she wanted prayer. We prayed and about 45 minutes after we left, we made it back to the church.
Sarah and I were kinda the bathroom scouts for the girls, the guys could find a secluded place outside and it’s no big deal.
Our most awkward times were the concrete slab because it’s just hard to figure out what to do.. The key to a squatty is to not wait too long to ask for a toilet because you never know how long it’ll take/what kind you’ll get. Always take a flashlight at night, headlamps are best as you don’t need a friend to hold a light for you.
Sarah held the light for me one night. It had been a long night of praying and kids and we were exhausted. I have some weird thing about where i need just a little light to go to the bathroom. Sarah stayed at the door and held her phone flashlight for me, it was nice. Then she made me laugh and things got a little messy. So, we were glad a) it was dark and b) there was a bucket of water to rinse off my feet.
One of the best nights was rural India in a small town. It was really hot that day, yes hotter than normal. And I drink a bunch of water- back home I drink at least a gallon a day. India was not much different as it was hard to stay hydrated. So Sarah and I head off following a young lady to the toilet. We go to a nice home where a grandmother was taking a nap and find the squatty. The young lady helps get water in the bucket for me and moves some stuff to close the door. The door is rusted metal, yes this detail is important. So I do my thing and go to unlock the door he leave. I barely clicked the lock open and the top half of the door just fell over, the bottom stayed shut. I squeaked out, ‘I just broke their door!!’ I had woken up the old woman and Sarah was dying laughing. I had no idea what to do and felt so bad I had broken these peoples door!!! It was probably the best story I have about squatty potties.
So I leave you with this:
– Squatty potties are always an adventure
-be sure to take in (and out) your toilet paper
– wash/rinse hands and feet after using (it also helps cool you down in the Indian heat)
– be careful with people’s doors
– be thankful for a squatty and not a slab
