I have enjoyed (mostly) my time on the Race. No, not everyday is awesome, but I can find joy in struggles and see growth. However, I have come to dread part of the Race—the end of the month.
For the most part, my team has spent the whole month with one host family (exception: India but I count G-squad as family). We eat with them, work/minister together; worship, pray, laugh, play, etc. They open their homes, hearts and families to us and we open up to them and pour into them for ONE month. Then the dreaded end of the month comes, and that means goodbye.
Yes, I would love to come back (and bring my sister) but it is up to God when and if that will happen.
No, I will never forget you.
Please stay in touch!
I will pray for you. I love you.
I love (insert country/place here).
I have said all these and more to my new families. I do NOT want to forget, I want to take them with me, I would LOVE to visit again, and I want to stay in touch.
But the reality is I won’t be able to do that with everyone I meet and it breaks my heart. I have seven more countries to visit; my new families will have other missionaries come through, they have families to tend to, school, work, etc. Some relationships won’t grow due to limited contact or language barriers or busyness, etc. etc.
It hurts me. I truly love the ones I have met so far. I wonder how Bijay is and how his mom’s surgery went (Nepal). I want to know if Pik and Tik will have a baby soon and what crazy things their daughter Sarah is up to (Thailand). Or where Somnang will go to university, if Srey Nak passed her big test, or if Elijah learned how to swim (Cambodia).
The end of the month is bittersweet. I find myself looking back at all the memories and trying to soak up as much time as possible with my friends before I leave.
I know God called me on the Race and this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Yes, I knew when I signed up I would be in a new country every month. Yes, I was naïve in thinking I wouldn’t connect in some way to each country. No, I didn’t know my heart would hurt this month each time.
People come into our lives for seasons; some stay longer, some teach lessons while others are taught. But it’s a constant revolving door it seems.
The people I have and will meet on the Race may only be with me for a season, but their imprint will forever be on my heart. I am thankful for the lessons learned. God called out here to love and I’m trying my best. But it also means a cracked, broken heart each month. It has shown me just how much love God has for us.
So this not goodbye. I will only say “see you later.”
