As the airplane took off I cried. I felt like I was making the biggest mistake ever, leaving, but I knew staying wasn’t an option.
I was leaving Tennessee, home, for the second time in 8 months. Not an ounce of my body wanted to leave, but I knew I couldn’t stay. Three months. Africa. I knew I had to go.
And now, a month later, I feel the same way leaving Ethiopia.
It’s not the place that’s hard to leave, but the people you leave behind. For Tennessee it’s family, friends, a boyfriend. The people I’ve grown to love over the past 22 years. For Ethiopia it’s 19 little orphans that I’ve only known for a few weeks.
Split between four houses, each with their own house mother, 19 orphans live in what we call the Children’s Village. It’s HOPEthiopia’s main focus and where most of our time and energy has went this month.
Every morning (and afternoon) (and pretty much anytime of the day) these 19 little faces come peeking through our windows. They run to us with hugs and kisses everytime we step outside. They snuggle with us as we watch movies with laps full of popcorn. They listen intently as we tell bible stories and walk around singing “This Little Light Of Mine” and “Jesus Loves Me.” They smile and laugh all the time.
I can’t explain why I love these kids so much.
Maybe it’s because they are orphans. And maybe it’s because I’ve had a heart for orphans for years. And maybe it’s because that little desire that’s been burning in my heart has finally been fulfilled.
Or maybe there’s no reason at all. But the day I walked onto this compound my heart was changed. Nothing has sparked a fire in my heart like these 19 children.
The other night as I went to sleep the only thought on my mind was “Who is going to love them when I’m gone?”
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18
God loved these kids before I was here and He will still love them long after I am gone. He will not leave them as orphans, He will come to them. There will be other teams, there will be people here all the time to love these kids. Even if it’s not me.
As hard as leaving Tennessee was, coming here made it all worth it. And I would leave 100 more times if it meant I got to love on these children again.
Today, as I walked away from those 19 faces, my heart broke. I didn’t know you could fall in love in a matter of weeks, but now I know it’s possible because I have. Even though my heart breaks knowing I won’t have 19 kiddos running to me every morning, my heart is more full just by knowing them.
I wish more than anything that I could stay, but I know it’s not an option.
I guess that’s the thing about leaving though, when it’s hard it makes going back all the sweeter.
And I fully expect to. I’ll be back Ethiopia.
