From the moment we arrived at launch we all thought about it, but rarely did we say it out loud… “Home is never going to be the same.”
Month 10 has arrived and for the past two months the conversations of what everyone will do when they arrive home have been a constant sound. But what happens when going “home” is too much to begin to process?
What happens when the place you grew up doesn’t feel like home any more? What happens when you’ve learned to be content, perfectly content, wherever you lay your head at night? What happens when foreign, doesn’t feel so foreign any more? How does one begin to process going back to this place, this life that others consider your normal?
Normal is not normal any more. Change is normal. Not being able to speak the same language is normal. Talking about Jesus all the time is normal. Living in community is normal. Being challenged and encouraged to grow and seek growth is normal. Having melt downs and two minutes later singing at the top of your lungs while driving down a back road in the bed of a truck is normal.
How does one return to “their normal life,” when everyone else’ perspective of normal is not your perspective of normal? How does one begin to process going “home” when there are still two months left? Yet, every time you call “home,” going home is all that is talked about…every time your turn around, going home is all that’s talked about.
What if I were to tell you I’m not ready to go “home.”What if I were to tell you every time I think about “home” I cry. What if I were to tell you I don’t know how to process this whirlwind of a life God has used to opened my eyes and to help me come alive…let alone having to process it while being expected to conform to “normal” while at “home.”
What if I were to tell you I’m not ready to leave this world I feel Christ has called me to…
What if I were to tell you the times I have the warm, comforting feeling of home is not when I think back on memories of my past, but when I’m looking at a world map.
These are simply some of my thoughts as I sit here waiting to begin our next month of ministry.
Month 10, it’s here.
Along with month 10 finally arriving, something else has popped back into my life. I found this blog before leaving for the World Race – https://velvetashes.com/how-to-welcome-her-back/. As I said, I found it, I did not write it. But even before leaving, when I read it, I knew I would need to read it again one day. I’m asking you to please, take the time to read it too. Take the time to read the processing, emotions, thoughts, etc. I cannot even being to put into words just yet.
