I want to dance again…
Oh what I would give to follow you around the dance floor,
just one more time.
In the moment all I wanted to do was take control.
But all I can think about as I drive along the country side is how I would give it all up,
give it all up just to follow your lead.
To follow your step and the guidance of your firm, steady hand.
To turn when you say without words,
to dip and trust you won’t let me fall.
Oh, what I would give to give you full control.
I’ll go where you go and stay where you stay.
I put my heart in His hands.
I trust His intentions.
And so, I talk with Him.
As we talk I tell Him of my heart,
though He already knows it inside and out.
I tell Him of all the pain and insecurity,
the hurt and heaviness,
the glimpses of happiness,
but the desire for unending joy.
I tell Him of my fear,
the fear of letting others in and getting hurt again.
He tells me he won’t hurt me,
but He can sense my hesitation…
He looks me in the eyes, He looks deep into my heart, and says,
“Trust Me… Follow My lead.”
He holds out His hand
and for a moment I pause,
I look at it and ponder my whole world,
my whole heart.
Do I trust Him?
Do I take His hand?
Or do I cling tight to what is safe and secure, and…painful?
I look around the room,
I take it all in,
I know what I want,
but I’m afraid to let Him in;
afraid to take His hand.
Once again, He looks at me and this time He says,
“May I have this dance?”
“It won’t take long, it’s only a short amount of time.”
“But I promise, it will be the dance of your life.”
I gently lay my hand in His,
hesitant and afraid,
but my hand lay in His.
I reached out in faith,
faith that He is a man true to his word.
So He led
and I followed.
I spun and we turned.
By the second lap around the dance floor I realized I was smiling.
I realized I enjoy dancing with Him.
I realized I was having fun,
I felt like a child without a care in the world as He spun me around and around.
Then, in an instant, fear gripped my heart and mind again.
“What if He dips me and I fall,” I thought.
“What if I fall and all these people see?”
“What if I fall and it completely knocks the wind out of me,
rendering me incapable of getting back up…”
My mind spun around and around, crippled by fear.
I didn’t realize it,
but as my mind raced my grip changed and I began to try and lead,
I began to try and take control.
The more I tried to lead, the more I misstepped.
The more I misstepped, the more I tripped over my own two feet.
Frustrated and embarrassed, I let go of His hand.
I walked off the dance floor and sat alone at a table in the shadows;
distant from the dance floor where no one would see me,
see me sitting in the pain I had caused for myself.
I sat there analyzing each and every step,
not understanding what had changed;
what had gone wrong.
As I sat there in my pain,
pondering what went wrong
He walked up to me.
His face was gentle,
the sincerity of His heart shone through His eyes.
He was not angry
nor was He disturbed.
Instead, He was kind and patient.
He looked at me sitting alone,
extended His hand and said,
“Trust Me… Follow My lead”
