The Lord our God said to us at Horeb, “You have dwelt long enough on this mountain.”
Deuteronomy 1:6
The journey to the Promised Land of Canaan should have taken the Israelites 11 days- instead it took them 40 years. I think I learned that at some point in my life before but for some reason it didn't hit me then the way it is now. The journey to the Promised Land of Canaan should have taken the Israelites 11 days- instead it took them 40 years. My first thought after reading that was… HOW ANNOYING. Why were the Israelites SO stubborn? Why were they SO stupid?! Did they just give up and forget what God had done for them? Why didn't they trust that He would deliver on His promises?
Earlier this year, God began teaching me just how much damage my own disobedience had done in my life. For years and years I had built up strongholds in my mind that even now, as I attempt to walk in God's love and His plan for my life, continue to hold me back. I hid my insecurities and despised even the idea of the word vulnerability because I clung to my pride and my need to feel respected. I avoided evangelism and refused to be bold in my faith because I was afraid of not having the right answers for everyone and I didn't trust God to speak through me. I dated men that I knew weren't right for me because I was tired of waiting on God's perfect timing. I chose negative thoughts and pessimism because I didn't truly believe that God would work ALL things for the good of those who loved Him.
…for as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
Proverbs 23:7
I wish I could explain to you how much I hate making these connections and comparisons. I hate realizing that I am no better than the Israelites. That Stephen's speech to the Sanhedrin is also directed at me. That I don't trust God with my desires any more than Sarah trusted Him to give her the son He promised. Why? Why, after all that God has done for me, do I still resist? I've been spending 40 years on an 11 day journey. I've been scoffing at the actions of my forefathers and then repeating the same bad behavior. I've been laughing at God when He promises me things and trying to force my dreams to come true rather than sitting back and watching God do it for me.
… it shall be done for you just as you have believed.
Matthew 8:13
I have dwelt long enough on this mountain and I know I'm not the only one up here. I am tired of watching my own efforts fail time and time again. I know it won't be quick or easy but I know my God won't give up until I've made it. I am ready to get off of this pile of rocks and start my journey to the Promised Land- I'm going and I want you to come with me.
Being confidant of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to full completion.
Philippians 1:6
