Gossip. We all do it at sometime or another. Because of the pull that gossip has on our culture today, most of us don't think anything of it. This past month, The Lord has really worked on my heart about this issue. I'm speaking to the girls mainly on this topic because I am just seeing so much how this is hurting us, our self worth, and our relationships with others.
I'm an honest person, so one of my favorite excuses for when I would talk about others behind their backs was when I would say- "I would say this to her face so its okay for me to tell you" and then I would likely go on a rant about something that someone was doing that bothered me. But, it was fine because I would have told them (implying if they asked). However, they wouldn't ask because they had no idea anything was wrong because instead of taking my problems to them I would just take them to another friend (its crazy logic when you think about it). As girls, once we get it out of our system (and get some reassurance that we were totally right), we feel a lot better. At least until the next time someone does something that bothers you.
I just want to share how God revealed how much this way of working around others has effected me. I see myself as strong. I don't worry about what others think about me or my truth or my honesty. Except, I did worry. If I felt like I may have said someone wrong or done something that may have hurt someone's feelings, instead of asking that person how they felt, I would go to someone else, explain the situation, be affirmed in not feeling bad, and go on with life. Because I did this, I knew others did it too. So I would worry about what others were saying about me to my other friends. I truly believe that friendships have been so thrown into the rocks because of how someone else has felt towards me and have shared it with another friend they felt closer to. The other friend takes on the burden of feeling the same way about me. How upsetting it is for me to know that, and how upsetting it is for me to feel like there are people that have done that to me. What's more upsetting though is the fact that my words have done the same to others friendships. No amount of apologies can take that back. When we gossip and talk behind others backs we also are bringing someone else into that issue. We are tempting and urging someone else to agree with us and to join us in bringing someone else down. And in the process, we are losing the trust of the person that we have decided to confide in. If I'm going to one best friend to talk about another best friend, then there is no trust that I won't do the same later on when I get frustrated with the friend I once confided in.
I know this is all a little jumbled, but I hope its making sense. Our words have the power to hurt or to heal. My challenge for the women reading this is to take your words to God first. Let him reveal truth to you. And then, if its something that needs to be addressed, go directly to the source. Let's not continue this painful cycle of hurting one another and creating a web of dishonesty with one another. We are each loved so wholly by the creator of the universe. He calls us sisters to Jesus. Daughters of a king, the King. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. When we consider and start believing this about ourselves and others, we will lift and refine ourselves and others and love will flow through each of our relationships fully.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14
"But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean'." Matthew 15:18
"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now, if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8: 16-17
