"I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"- 10 things I hate about you.
That's just perfect for how I'm feeling right now. I haven't written a blog in a while, but I wanted to get down some feelings and expectations I'm having before training camp and the race because I think it's going to be so cool to see how they play out when I get there in 2 weeks and then over the next year. This past week has been a week of reflection for me big time. I've been thinking about where God has brought me so far and where He is taking me. I've noticed the ups and downs of the past 4 years. It's been such a bumpy ride, but it's been worth every second. I've learned so much about myself, and God has taught me to be me through everything. I've been broken down and put back together with the love of the Most High.
This next week is the big door opening for the next chapter in my life. I turn 22 on Wednesday (stoked to see what T.Swift means when she says "feelin 22"). I graduate from college on Saturday. I spend one last little beach trip with my friends Sunday. I leave for training camp the next Saturday. I meet my family for the next year. I get a small taste of what's ahead- foreign food, tent life, worship, etc.
I honestly haven't let myself think about leaving my family and my friends because it's obviously a lot easier to focus on the amazing things that are ahead instead of the painful ones. But I think this week I have to face it just a little. So I'm getting a little sad. I love my friends that I've made in college so much. I can't believe we won't ever live in the same place again. I have been so blessed by what they have taught me in the past 4 years and how far we have all come together. It's truly a bond given from God. We love each other because He first loved us. I have so much expectation for how much we will all change in the next year. I pray we all continue to grow spiritually. I pray we show others the love of God each day to everyone we come in contact with. And- warning this is about to be so cheesy- I pray we that even though we aren't together in one place that we continue to be in each others hearts and prayers always.
On a less sad note, I am so excited to meet my new friends and family that God has placed on S squad- TheSquad. I'm so excited about how He will bring us together. He's throwing us into a journey that is so full of unknowns but also so many expectations. They tell us not to have any expectations when going on the race. But that's impossible. I fully expect for my world to be completely changed this next year. I expect to change lives. I expect my life to be changed. I'm going to lose the things I love (i.e. comfort). I expect to be pressed beyond what I think I can ever handle. I expect to have to rely on God like never before because I won't be able to make it alone. I expect to miss America. I expect to see miracles happen. I expect to see God more than I've ever seen Him before. I expect to grow exponentially in my faith and love for God. I expect to see others experience the freedom that comes from a relationship with Christ. I expect to laugh, cry, scream and everything in between. I expect to be renewed. The list goes on….
Time flies by so fast a while I will miss so much of the past 4 years, I am so full of excitement for what is ahead. I thank God everyday for the people He has given me and the gifts He has prepared.
"There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
