Yesterday I started my morning before heading out into a village called Titayen by praying asking for the Lord to break my heart for what breaks His. I honestly didn’t know what I was getting myself in to. I never realized how deep the Lord’s heart gets broken.
At a specific house I felt it the most. We met a man named Ivan. Ivan is an alcoholic and a non-believer. I felt quickly called to share the Lord’s love and freedom with this man.
Ivan shared a bit of his life with us. He told us that he would rely on alcohol to forget his struggles and hardships. I could physically feel the burdens Ivan had been piling up on himself; truly, heavily heartbreaking.
I told Ivan the freedom that the Lord has gifted us; Jesus. Sending His Son to die on the cross for OUR OWN sins, burdens and hardships, to suffer for them so we don’t have to, to separate us from our sins as far as the east is from the west. That when we struggle through hardships alone that we come out on the other side weaker, but when we struggle walking alongside the Lord we come out on the other side much, much stronger. That by relying on alcohol; things of this world, to take our pain away that it will only pile up more and more. That the peace being drunk brings only lasts a moment and then back to real life while, with Christ that peace lasts forever.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1:2-3
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” – James 1:12
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33
These verses bring oh so much comfort to my own spirit. The kind of comfort that makes you want to climb to the top of a mountain standing amongst the clouds and worship, ya know? I shared these verses with Ivan, I wanted him to feel that kind of comfort too.
As I was speaking to him the Lord gave me a vision which doesn’t happen very often, but this was clearly from the Holy Spirit.
I saw God reaching for Ivan saying to him “Ivan! Ivan! Do you not understand that I love you, that I know you, I want you to know me, I want you to be free of your burdens, give it up to me Ivan, I am waiting with my arms open wide”
I shared this vision with Ivan and he just said that he wants to accept Christ but first he wants to stop drinking and find a job to support his family and to buy church clothes.
To that I responded “Why do you spend money on alcohol if you don’t have a job to support your family?”
Ivan didn’t have much of a response to that one, while I wasn’t expecting one, I more wanted to stir something inside of him, causing him to see Jesus and meet Him where he is now in life.
I asked if I could pray for him before we left but he said no… I was for sure not ready for someone to deny prayer. But the family did say we could pray for Ivan’s grandson to do better in school. So I agreed, but still was determined to pray for Ivan. I opened up the prayer by praying for Ivan, for his heart to be softened so he could see the Lord, for him to be free of his burdens and feel as light as a feather, to know that he is forgiven, separated from his sins as far as the east is from the west. I then prayed for knowledge from the Lord for the little boy. After praying Joe also spoke some words of wisdom into Ivan, sharing how much Jesus loves him regardless of his past. Ivan didn’t choose to accept Christ, but he said he would think about it, we planted a seed. Now we just have to rely on God to water that seed.
I started to cry after the prayer, a lot, if you know my mom it was a Heidi Loughran kind of cry. Simply because my heart was breaking, just as I knew the Lord’s was. All God wants is for Ivan to know how much He loves him, how much He knows him and how free Ivan can be if he just lifts his burdens to the Lord. God wants Ivan to know that he is the Lord’s son. Son… a child of Christ, free of burden from past sin. I cried because this man is so lost, so hurt, so broken and all he needs to be healed is to accept the Lord’s love.
Please join me in praying for Ivan to have his eyes open to the Lord’s love, that he is burden free. It is amazing to me what the Lord’s heart breaks for and how deeply it breaks. I encourage you to ask the God to also break your heart for what breaks his because wow, what an eye opening, body chilling experience. I now understand more the extent of the Lord’s love, it is unimaginably, unconditionally great.
Thank you Jesus for separating us from our burdens and sins as far as the east is from the west, for freeing us, loving us, and filling our hearts with your joy.
Joyfully,
Kell
