I felt ALONE for the first time on the race. I got news that my grandma passed away. I’m halfway across the world without my family…I was on a bus filled with a bunch of people, even one teammate—I was SURROUNDED, but felt completely ALONE. I cried with my mom on the phone as she told me the news. I reached out to people right away…please pray for me and my family. I’ve learned that prayer is POWERFUL. Even with replies back…it’s not the same as physically being with someone who will wrap their arms around you, cry with you, and pray for you IN THAT MOMENT.
This past week we sang “Lean Back” during worship. Tears filled my eyes as I sang the words and really let them sink in. “You will NEVER leave. Your love SUSTAINING me before I even KNEW what love was. You BROUGHT me HERE to REST. And given me SPACE to BREATHE. So I’ll stay STILL until it sinks in. I will LEAN BACK in the loving arms of a beautiful FATHER. BREATHE deep and know that He is GOOD. He is a LOVE like NO OTHER….”
Our theme of our kid’s camp this week was Jeremiah 29:11-14. God has GOOD plans for our lives…plans to PROSPER us and not to harm us, to give us HOPE and a FUTURE. When we CALL on him, COME to him, and PRAY to him, he LISTENS! When we SEEK him with our ENTIRE heart, we WILL FIND HIM. And he will bring us out of captivity.
God has been with me through all of this…he orchestrated a beautiful plan for me.
I missed the other teams going up north to villages so instead I was at the YWAM base doing ATL. All the medical camp people that had been here the previous week (over 40 people) were gone. There were only a few people at the base (which God allowed me to have conversations and quality time with SO many of them—reminding me of how easy of a life I’ve really had). But I was able to have space to grieve, watch the funeral, and breathe without feeling like I had a million responsibilities the entire week. He brought me to a place of rest. (Cows in my backyard, giraffes, zebras, gazelle, and wildebeests just a few minute’s walk into the bush, sunrises and sunsets that my camera can’t begin to capture, and views like none other…)
Sometimes we forget that our dad is right there…ready to walk right beside us through anything we are going through. I knew He was with me…I had a lot of peace about my Grandma’s passing and I felt his presence, but I forgot to lean back and trust that my dad would be there to catch me.
During that time of worship, I felt him wrapping his arms around me letting me know that through all of that he was right there with me. If I would have just sought him a little more instead of desiring human comfort, he would have wrapped is arms around me sooner.
So when you are going through a rough patch, remember to seek the Lord and lean back into HIS arms…he’ll wrap you in his lovingkindness.
