As I’ve been reading through the Bible on a daily basis, reading squad books (Fervent and Not a Fan), digging deeper into my faith, being in the “trenches”, and really listening to the Holy Spirit, God has been moving. I’ve been renewing my mind daily. His character has been radiating out of me. My relationship with him is the best it’s ever been. I feel on fire—like a raging wildfire!
I might not be the same person when I come home. I pray I’m not the same person when I come home.
I’ve been bold and am still learning to walk in that boldness at times. I have the lion cub growl and am working on gaining my roar. I’m a river with a dam that has water leaking through it—ready to burst and be a force. I’ve been vulnerable (sharing my full testimony with teammates, deep desires, passions, and hurts…the list goes on). I’ve loved on others and been loved deeply. I’ve gone up to hundreds of strangers to talk to them about God (Thank you Cru for instilling evangelism boldness). I’ve prayed with numerous Uber and taxi drivers before getting out of their cars. When something goes wrong, my first thought is, “We need to pray”. When I need direction, I seek the Lord’s guidance first instead of friends. I’ve battled against the schemes of the enemy. I’ve challenged myself by choice to seek a deeper and more intimate relationship with Christ… and it is AMAZING.
Reading this you might not believe me. Shy and timid Kelly doing all of this?
There has been freedom in this trip. There has been revelation in this trip! I don’t just want to live life–I want to live life for Christ—every day seeking out people to share the good news with! I don’t just want to be a fan who may know a lot of facts about something or someone but doesn’t live it out—I want to be a full-fledged follower! That means it’s a 24 hour a day commitment. That means constantly filling myself with the truth of God’s word. That means in EVERY SINGLE AREA of my life, I am committed to Christ. Relationships. Music. Movies. Words. Thoughts. Deeds. Work. Home. In Secret. In Public. Everywhere-Every time-Every day. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. It’s a passionate pursuit of going after God without looking back and desiring the world and worldly things.
When I came on this trip, I wanted abandonment of the worldly things. Jesus told his followers to leave everything and follow him. That’s what I wanted this trip to feel like. I have always been a little different than most people my age. I’ve never really cared about name brand clothing—thrift stores and clearance racks are literally the best. Smartphone? How about a touchscreen Tracfone instead?. A trip to the movies? I’d rather play board games with my family or go hiking in the mountains. Go out to a restaurant for a nice meal? I’d rather try to cook a new dish myself-especially if it’s with homegrown produce!
Here are some ways that I’ve entered into abandonment on this trip:
- I quit my job knowing that God would and will reveal a new plan for my life when I return home.
- Singleness. As a 28-year-old, having a family is something you think about.
- Fasting from social media for most of the months (besides posting blogs, adding newly met friends from the countries I’m in, and adding pictures during debriefs or travel days at the end of the month).
- Trying my best to live life off of the World Race budget for food (which can be difficult at times…like $10 for 3 meals in an airport) and not spending money on a ton of “extras” like snacks, going to cafes, movies, etc., all so I can press into the culture and environment where I’ve been placed and feel how the people feel.
- Literally, leaving my family behind and having minimal communication with them. (Don’t worry, I warned most friends and family before the trip about the limited communication)
The pros to abandonment? I fully rely on God for my strength and well-being daily. When you have less “stuff” you want more of God, have more time for God, you hear his will more clearly, and his character shines through. The worldly desires…they melt away.
So, I often ask God about his will for my life at home. It’s much easier to talk to strangers you might not ever see again about the love of Christ. But what about when I am home? Will I still walk in this boldness? Will I see homeless people on the streets and go up to them, talk to them, and pray with them? (because there for sure will not be as big of a language barrier). Will I not be afraid to raise my hands in a traditional church during a hymn that touches me and I want to give the glory to God and surrender myself to him? Will Christ’s love still radiate through me?
Will you join me in this fight for a lifestyle change in your own life? I pray you do. For the spark that leads to wildfires…for the lion cub that grows into a lioness…for the dams that hold us back to be removed… Let’s shout it from the mountain top…Praise God!
Therefore, since you have been raised with Christ, strive for the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is yourlife, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4
