My mom tells me that I first accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior when I was quite young, about 5 years old. What happened next became my very first memory:
I was in bed one night, and my room was dark except for the soft light of a lamp. I was wide awake and terrified, with my covers pulled up to my chin. Up where my walls met the ceiling was the shadow of a tall, thin, hooded figure, slowly moving above me from one corner of my room to the next, around and around. It felt like it was stalking and taunting me. Even as young as I was, I knew that it was a demonic presence, an evil spirit, trying to instill terror into my heart. I watched it for a while, paralyzed with fear, then I squeezed my eyes shut, pulled the covers over my head, and whispered one word, “Jesus.” It was all I could say. Just, “Jesus.” Immediately, I no longer felt afraid. I was filled with a sense of peace, and then I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, the spirit was gone and I didn’t see it or feel its evil again.
I had another demonic experience a few years later, after we moved into a different house. I was unable to sleep in my room because I could sense a malevolent and oppressive presence. Something just felt very wrong and the feeling would keep me awake at night. For weeks, I slept in our hallway instead of in my bed. My parents eventually asked our pastor to come to our house, and she went into into each room. She told my parents that there were several demonic spirits in my room, right next to a poster of a unicorn I had hanging on the wall. She prayed over our house and blessed it, and the ominous feelings that were oppressing me suddenly disappeared. We learned that the previous owners of our house were not Christians. We don’t exactly know what went on in the house while they lived in it, but there were dark presences that lingered after they had moved out.
Early in life I experienced the evil of Satan and the peace and love of Jesus. Those experiences made me realize that Satan fears me, and all followers of Christ. Satan is terrified of the people God is calling us to be, so he tries to derail us.
This year, I have been feeling God working in my heart, slowly separating it from Chicago and from my job, in preparation for whatever is to come. I’m a big fan of travel, and my trip to Iceland in August made me remember how joyful and alive my spirit feels when I am out in the world, exploring and reveling in creation, and connecting with people. When I heard about the World Race, something clicked into place in my heart, and there was a rush of warmth and joy, and my soul cried out, “YES!” I immediately realized that this is what God has been preparing me for. I started my application right then [click here for more detail].
Since being accepted to the World Race, oh man, Satan has been working a number on me. He’s been digging deep into my fears, doubts, and insecurities. He’s been trying really hard to convince me that I don’t actually want to do this, and there’s been a lot of “Who do you think you are? You can’t make a difference, don’t make me laugh” (Yeah, he’s super mean). I definitely need encouragement, and so if any of you are in the same boat, I also wanted to give you some. Yesterday, a thought popped into my head. It was: “the Enemy goes after those he views as a threat. He must be pretty scared, then.” And before I went to bed, I came across something in my reading that confirmed that thought for me, and added to it: the enemy will do EVERYTHING in his power to prevent you from becoming who God made you to be. He’s terrified of who you will be in the future. If he can’t distract you from God’s will, he will try to oppress you, lie to you, and manipulate you. If you’ve been going through the fire like I have, know that there is something God has placed on your life— and something going on inside of you— that Satan fears. Those with the Holy Spirit living inside their hearts are a threat to Satan, and he will do whatever he can to get you to turn away from God.
The Enemy is vicious, but God is victorious. God has authority over Satan, and since the Holy Spirit lives within all who believe in Him, believers also have authority over Satan. Tell the devil to get lost, and keep going. Don’t give up.
