I think about my grandma quite often all throughout the year, but the Christmas season is when I most deeply feel her absence. Most of my Christmas memories as a child revolve around her and my grandpa. Growing up, my grandparents would host our family’s Christmas brunch. There would be homemade lefse, julekake, krumkake, and spritz cookies. There would be meatballs, ham, herring, smoked salmon, potato sausages, potato casserole, gjetost cheese and crackers. I remember sitting on the fireplace hearth and cracking nuts with my sister. Later, all of the kids would stand in front of the fireplace and sing Christmas carols.
My grandma passed away in July 2011. She battled breast cancer on and off for 16 years. Every few years it would come back, so she would get treatment yet again. She’d do okay for a few more years afterward, but it always came back eventually.
My grandparents went to Mazatlan, Mexico every February for many years. One year, my grandma befriended the woman in charge of an orphanage, so every year afterward, she would bring the woman a few homemade dresses. My grandparents would visit the children in the orphanage as well, and they always brought an extra suitcase full of things like socks and clothes, toothpaste, and toothbrushes for the kids. My grandma would also collect used eyeglasses, and she would make glasses cases for them.
I never remember hearing her complain about anything. So many people would be surprised to learn of her sickness, because she was always thinking of others, putting their needs ahead of her own. Throughout her life, even when she was very sick herself, she would visit her ailing friends. She always brought food, and she would sit and chat with them at length. Most importantly, she lavished people with love.
She was beloved by everybody who met her. Her memorial service was so packed with people, that there weren’t enough seats for everybody in attendance. The sanctuary overflowed with people. Many stood in the back of the sanctuary, in the side aisles, and outside of the sanctuary, into the reception area. Not only that, but there was another room full of people in the basement of the church, where they had set up the TV to live stream the service. I think that is the most full the church has ever been.
Even a casual mention of her still brings tears to my eyes. She was an immensely special woman. She had an uncommonly kind soul, and she was the most loving, most gentle, most patient, most positive person I’ve ever known. She embodied quiet dignity and grace, and she possessed a true servant’s heart. When she died, I remember thinking that if I had even a fraction of her kindness, I’d be doing okay.
She was goodness wrapped up in skin.
Merry Christmas, grandma. I sure do miss you.
