Two weeks ago, we had our first debrief with the entire squad, and concluded month 2 of the World Race. The first evening of debrief, I had one of the wildest encounters with the Holy Spirit that I have ever experienced.
Earlier in the day, my team debriefed with our leadership team— Jeremy (squad mentor); Laura, Alysa, and Eric (alumni squad leaders); and Jenn and AJ (squad coaches). It was a great time spent recapping the month, recounting stories of our time in North Africa, and sharing what the Lord has been teaching us. I shared about my current season of refining and pruning, and how painful it has been— how I just haven’t been able to see or feel what the Lord is doing (read more about it here).
Afterward, Jenn spoke encouraging words over me. Jenn told me that she could feel how proud the Lord was and how much He loves me. She began tearing up, which made tears spring to my eyes. She continued to tell me how faithful I have been in the midst of this struggle in trusting the Lord and trusting my teammates.
As we ended the team debrief, a leader paired up with each one of us to pray for us. Jeremy brought me to a corner of the room to pray privately over me. He prayed many things over me, but the thing that stands out the most is the picture he shared with me. He put his hand on top of my head and told me that he saw a river rushing through me, entering into my heart and clearing away the debris that is blocking parts of my heart from the water. He told me that the debris is all the baggage I have carried with me, all the lies Satan has spoken over me that I have believed, all the ways I have strived to perform for God, all the untruths I have believed about my identity, etc. Jeremy told me that God is in the process of changing my heart and clearing out the debris that I have been holding onto.
He also told me that he had a picture of me in a room with a bunch of women, and I was speaking to them. I was sharing my story— my pain, struggles, brokenness— in this season and others. In this vision, my current season was a distant memory, and I was ministering to other women in the midst of their hardships and struggles. He said that if I trust the story that the Lord is writing through me, then my life will bear so much fruit.
Then later that night, we had an amazing worship session. The Holy Spirit’s presence was so apparent. We lifted up our voices in praise and surrender. Jeremy shared his testimony in all its messy, vulnerable glory. When he finished he said that he felt the Lord say “Baptism in the Spirit” while we were worshipping earlier. He invited us to stand up if we desired to receive more and to be baptized in the Holy Spirit.
Most of us stood in a line, shoulder-to-shoulder, and Jeremy began to baptize each of us in the Spirit, with Alysa interceding and laying her hands on each of us. I was toward the back of the line, so I got to witness most of my squad-mates collapsing to the floor as Jeremy laid his hand on their heads and prayed. One-by-one, people dropped to the ground, with Jeremy and Alysa catching them and gently easing them down. Thoughts began to creep into my mind that I would not be among those to experience the Lord in this way.
When it was my turn, Jeremy put his hand on my head, and my head automatically sank down to my chest like it was weighted. As I was prayed over, I started to sway on my feet. Jeremy prayed, “Fire, fire, fire!” I began to tremble slightly as I continued to sway— something was happening, but something was holding me back from fully surrendering myself.
Then, a still, small voice within my spirit: “Do you still doubt me?”
Jeremy began to pray more forcefully as he spoke about God changing my heart. The river of living water he spoke about earlier that day was flowing through my whole body, cleansing, anointing, and making me new. Jeremy said, “God is removing the debris right now!”, and my body immediately became heavy with the presence of the Lord and began to collapse, while Jeremy and Alysa caught me and guided me to the floor. After they finished praying for me, I just sat on the floor for a while, amazed, and I watched as my remaining squad-mates were baptized in the Spirit.
This is an unfinished story.
I don’t know exactly what the Lord is doing in me, but I do know that He is inviting me to press into deeper intimacy and relationship with Him. He is doing a new thing in me. He is taking me to higher places with a fresh anointing.
