Dear spiders,
I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you in the past.
You look a little creepy,
and sometimes you alarm me,
but you’re really not that bad.
You actually are quite helpful,
and you eat annoying bugs.
The next time I open my eyes and see you chilling in a corner,
instead of smashing you with a Kleenex,
I’ll say a little prayer of thanks
because you’re not a cockroach.
Cockroaches are really not okay with me.
I don’t like it when they appear in the sink while I’m doing dishes.
Or when they scurry across my feet while I’m in the bathroom.
It is disgusting, and super lame.
Seeing two ‘roaches before I’ve had my morning coffee
is not my favorite thing.
So, spiders…
I don’t know if we’ll ever be close friends,
but I think we could live in harmony.
From now on, I promise to
smash all the ‘roaches, or kill them with fire,
and leave you in peace.
Maybe.
To the cockroaches,
I just have this one thing to say:
Not today, Satan.
Amen.
