Apologies ahead of time! I tend to be long winded 
I’m not one of those people who have an extravagant tale of how they got to the decision of the World Race. I wasn’t a drug addict who had an epiphany or a atheist who saw God appear in their coffee cup. I am just an average woman with an average story who was called by God to do extraordinary work for the least of these.
I was raised in a wonderful household with two loving parents and my siblings. I only have happy memories from my childhood. Both my parents were Christians and actually met at 13 years old in the church youth group. From the time that I can remember, my parents were building a foundation for each of our lives that were centered on Christ. Crooked Creek Baptist Church, my church for 18 years, was a second home and always a place to find comfort. Sunday service, youth group, children musicals, weekends at Camp Woodsmoke, fellowship and mission trips encompassed most of my childhood & teen years. Those who knew me recognized my faith and my church as a large part of who I was. I knew who God was and I thought that I had a relationship him. What I didn’t realize was that I was basing my relationship and faith in him solely on my church home. Later on during my senior year of high school, I would learn that without my church home, I had no idea how to continue to walk with Christ by myself.
A couple things happened during my last few years of high school that directed me down a path of destruction leading into college. My church was going through some turmoil with our Senior Pastor. It just so happened to be that the Senior Pastor’s son was also my best friend at the church. Things came to a breaking point to say the least and the church no longer was a place of peace. One memory that is burned in my mind was after an evening board meeting where hurtful words were thrown and anger ruled the room, I can remember holding my friend (the pastor’s son) in my arms while he cried heavy tears of sorrow. His family was abandoned and left without a community to depend on when they needed it the most. I remember looking at these people who claimed to be Christians yet filled that church with so much hate and anger. As a follower of Jesus, we were always taught to help the least of these, not shun them. Meanwhile, there was turmoil within my family which I won’t go into for the sake of their privacy. Needless to say, I was left to try and figure out this Christian walk on my own. I had lost so much and had been so indirectly hurt by these God fearing people.
So what did I do? I ran. I ran as far away from God as I could. I didn’t look back. The Christian life wasn’t working for me so I was going to do the opposite and that is exactly what I did. I got into the wrong crowd near the end of high school. I was partying pretty much every weekend. This only led to more partying in college, engaging in even higher risk behavior, and more freedom. Don’t get me wrong, I loved college. I was a good student and graduated with a great GPA. I met women in my sorority who are going to be lifelong best friends. It was the best 4 years of my life. But here’s the difference, I set an expectation for myself right out of the gate. I was going to be the designated life of the party. In turn, I was the one that was always down to go out, could drink my friends under the table, try fake ID’s, and typically drink until blackout stage. Drinking led to promiscuity, smoking, and mild drug use. Someone had to be the wild girl and I was good at it. Now when I look back on it & reflect, I had this sense of community that had adopted this identity I had given myself just like Crooked Creek had. I think internally I was seeking my place in this world that I grasped onto it and refused to let it go.
My partying days didn’t end when I graduated from college like most people. They slowed down but usually weekends were centered on alcohol, parties, and socializing. Sundays were spent recovering from the drunken stupors to get ready for the work week. It was a routine and I didn’t know how to change it nor did I want to. Fast forward to November 30, 2013 which was bowling night with my family and family friends after Thanksgiving. I had decided to go get drinks with a friend prior and driven myself. I also proceeded to drink at the bowling alley and thought that taking a 2 hour break for dinner would give me enough time to sober up. I had played with the line of drinking and driving many times before so it didn’t seem like a big deal. I think we all know what happened next. I was arrested and spent the night in jail. I was charged with a DUI and got my license taken away for 60+ days. I spent over $4,000 in court & lawyer fees. I was sentenced to a year on probation and a conditional license for 6 months. I have to report it on every job application and explain myself which is humiliating. Now here is where you are probably thinking should have been my pivotal moment where I had a turning point and decided to change my destructive ways. Nope, think again. It wasn’t but a month later that I was back to drinking every weekend just not driving this time.
I continued on with my weekend escapades and when work was causing immense amounts of stress, I took to drinking wine in the evenings after work. My coping skill was to drink it away and I felt like it was working. I went through a tumultuous relationship over the summer of 2014 which sent me even further into the darkness. I was drinking more, having more anxiety/panic attacks, rarely slept and could see myself slipping into depression. I was angry, tired, sad, and in a deep sorrow that I couldn’t seem to pull myself out of. Family and friends were becoming concerned about my overall health.
There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called “Something Beautiful”. The lyrics say “I’m gonna take all the broken pieces and make something beautiful like only I could”. This is exactly what God did. I was broken into a million pieces. I thought I was beyond repair. There was a point last fall where I contemplated suicide because I thought others would be happier without my sorrow around. Unless you have experienced that kind of darkness, you won’t understand what goes through a person’s mind. I know now that God was there the whole time. He was hurting while I was hurting, he cried when I cried, and he followed me down that dark path and waited in the shadows until I was ready to cry out for him. And I did. I heard his whisper in that darkness and I went toward it. I heard him tell me that I am valuable and that I am worth more than my past. I felt him take that shame, regret, and failure from me and begin to lift me up from the darkness. Step by step, I moved closer to the light. I began to heal.
I started attending church on a regular basis, relying on prayer, and having a desire to delve into his Word once again. I also began searching for a community that was going to lift me up & foster my faith. I began listening to uplifting music and filling my head with all these positive thoughts. I started journaling and seeing a therapist to work through the hurt from my past. I joined a yoga studio and began to physically heal. I started to feel strong again and gain back my self confidence. I learned that I cannot live this live without total dependence on God.
During all of this self exploration, I reached out to a my friend Courtney Knoff. I had been following her World Race adventure and realized that she played a role in leading me back to the Lord. I just wanted to thank her and let her know that she made a difference in my life. Little did I know that God was at work here. She became a prayer warrior for me and always was checking in to see how my walk with Christ was going. I also felt this fire being lit inside of me. It was telling me that this can’t be all that life is supposed to be. I knew that I wanted to grow deeper with Christ but didn’t know how. I felt that I was meant for more but couldn’t figure out what it was. I wasn’t sure if he was meaning the World Race or something else so I prayed that God show me what’s next and where he wants me to go. I started to see signs for the Race. I would catch myself spending hours on the World Race website following current racers and reading blog after blog. I would hear song after song that talked about doing something, being the hands and feet of Jesus, having a soul on fire. I would see posts on social media like this one “It’s hard to grow your faith within your comfort zone. #go”. I couldn’t let it go. Of course I wanted a large billboard sign that said “Kelly, it’s time for you to apply for the World Race. Love, God”. But that wasn’t going to happen. I had to put my faith in him and trust what he had planned for me. Prayer and His Word became my biggest supports. And so with a huge, gigantic leap of faith I applied. The day after I applied, Matthew 6:33 was the bible verse in a blog post I was reading. It says “But SEEK first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. God has a great way of reaffirming his plan and this will is my go to verse throughout this journey!
