Before this journey, I never would have pegged myself as an adventurous person. I actually was far from it. My life was calculated, planned, and organized to the hundredth degree. I usually knew what was coming next and could plan in advance or prep myself ahead of time for the change. Pretty much the opposite of an adventurous person, or so I thought. I had a very skewed idea of what adventure meant. To me the adventurous person was the person that climbed Mt. Everest for vacation, or those that chose backpacking Europe over the beach. Adventure was big and bold, it was risk, uncomfortable, the unknown, complicated, unplanned, spontaneous, wild. It was for those people, the nomads, the travelers, and the wild ones. It was for those who lived life without goals, a schedule, and without a care in the world. One of the biggest lessons I have learned on the race is that life in itself is a grand adventure and that the Lord created it to be anything and everything but boring, static, and uneventful. He wanted us to do big things, be bold, and take risks. Choosing each day to step out, have faith and walk with Him trusting that He is going to be with you is a great adventure in itself. I have learned that adventure is everywhere and it is always calling. It’s in the little moments and in the big, never will forget moments. It’s in the mundane, the mess, the mystery and the mountains of life. Adventure is taking time to play soccer with the local kids or make homemade tortillas over the wood burning stove with your host mom. It’s sitting at the local gas station at 3AM not knowing what your next move is or entering into an unknown space to worship illegally in a Communist country. It’s when you choose to declare healing over physical wounds trusting God will show up in His time. One must choose to have a life full of adventure. You have to choose to be one of the wild ones.
I know what some of you were thinking when I left a year ago. Some didn’t understand. Some of you may have thought that I left to go find myself or that I was having a quarter life crisis at 26. Some of you may have thought she just needs to get it out of her system; everyone needs his or her big adventure in life and this is hers. On some levels, I think I can agree with all of you. I honestly didn’t fully understand why I was doing this; I thought I would find myself or my purpose; I was pretty sure I was having a quarter life crisis; and I truly was craving a big adventure that would define my life. But then something more incredible than I could have ever imagined happened. The Lord awakened my soul again. He brought me back to life and opened my eyes to the colorful life He intended for me to live. He showed me that life was made up of never ending adventures with Him and that this is just the beginning. He taught me that adventure is in every facet of life but that I must be awake to see it and that I must always choose it; He wont force me into it. So as I sit here in Zambia getting ready to head into the final month of this journey, I can tell you that I have gotten a small taste of what a big, adventurous life with my Father can be and I never want to stop chasing after it. He has shown me that I am an adventurer and I will always be a nomad until I am called to my eternal home. I am one who does not live within the confinements of a box because you cannot put my Father into a box. I will never stop seeking out new adventure at every turn. It’s been rooted in my soul and runs through my veins now.
However, I do have one very big fear about coming home and I think that it needs to be stated. I am petrified that when I return home to America that I will no longer choose adventure. That I will allow fears, opinions, stigmas, and people to stifle my adventurous, wild spirit that was awakened on this journey. I fear that I will choose safety and security over adventure and mystery. I fear that I will fall back into the nominal Christian life and stop choosing to live an adventurous life with my Creator, my Father, and my Savior. I fear that I will fall back into it so quickly that I won’t realize I am even there when I am. I fear that I will allow the very small American dream to outweigh the huge Kingdom dreams that my Father and I have dreamt of on this journey. I fear that the enemy will use comfort and security to distract me from my calling and the Lords plans. These are just a few of my fears about returning home but primarily the ones that dominate my thinking. I need your support and prayer to fight against these fears and cling to the hopes and dreams that the Lord has given me.
I am still the same Kelly that left 11 months ago. I look no different (except for an additional tattoo, sorry family!) and still laugh at my own jokes. I am still goofy and love to do Kristen Wiig/BonQuiQui impersonations. I still love yoga even though I don’t do it enough. I still hate camping, running, whipped cream/cool whip, and all things pie. I still cry at a most things and probably at even more things now. My obsession for puppies and babies has only grown. I still like to live my life with a plan. But I will tell you one difference. I am more awake and alive than I was 11 months ago.
So instead of going back to who I was, now I’d rather be a wild one.
