On Monday, I was laid off from my job. I knew that it was coming but I had hoped that I would at least be able to keep my job through the spring. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Now before you start typing a text or picking up the phone to call me and make sure I haven’t jumped off the nearest bridge, KEEP READING.
Was I surprised? Yes. Was I upset? Somewhat. Did I doubt his plan? Not even for a second. God has this funny way of closing one door while opening five others. Case in point below.
Closed Door: I 100% needed that job to make money and save for this year long adventure. Financial stress has been a big burden for me throughout this whole process.
Opened Doors:
1. Just last week, he had blessed me with 2 additional part time babysitting gigs. I also was given a severance package, unemployment benefits, and my vacation which I did not expect at all. Thank you Jesus!
2. Without this job, I have the time, energy, and determination to focus on whats important – FUNDRAISING. I was stressing about how to make it all work and felt my anxiety slowly creeping back up.
3. My roommate informed me the night before I got laid off that she found someone who would take over my rent for the remaining 3 months of our lease which is about $2,000 in savings!!
4. I handled it like a champ! – Now for those of you who know me personally know that I cry A LOT & for pretty much every emotion. For the first time in my life, I was able to talk to my boss with a calm, cool, & collected demeanor through the entire painful process. No crying here folks! HUGE accomplishment for me and I walked away from that situation more proud of myself that ever before.
5. God brought me peace before, during, & after. He kept on revealing himself and his plan to me every step of the way.
On Sunday, before I knew any of this was happening, the sermon in church was about connecting to One. One part of the outline that we had to fill in was “Career is what you’re paid for…. Calling is what you’re made for.” Looking back, I see that he was reminding me that it’s only a job and to focus on what he has planned for me.
Also on Sunday, we had our Easter brunch for my mom’s side of the family. Now, I had received the email from my boss about a half hour before I was supposed to be at the brunch telling me that he was coming in the next day from Florida to meet me at the end of the day. Pretty much knew what was coming and I DID have a mild moment of freaking out as I was driving to brunch. I didn’t make it but 2 minutes into the house when I broke down. Right at that moment of freak out, my cousin handed me a painting (see below) that she had done. She had been wanting to give it me for over a week. 5 words: Let go & Let God. Wow, could not have come at a better time. Reminding me yet again that he’s got me. Telling me to just let go of what’s holding me back from diving in head first & fully depending on him for everything. Paige (my cousin) also informed me that she had told her best friend’s dad, who works for Chacos, about what I was doing & he offered to send me a free pair of sandles for my trip! I was stunned. I barely knew this person and he was willing to help out in such an amazing way!
Monday came and I woke up at about 2AM with a terrible what I thought was stomach flu. I felt awful. I mean could barely get out of bed to make it to this meeting with my boss at 4:30 that afternoon kind of awful. Well, right before I was supposed to meet with him, I talked to my mom on the phone and she prayed for me that God would give my strength and wisdom to see past this hardship. Wasn’t but 5 minutes after I got laid off that I felt better, physically & emotionally. I literally had made myself sick with worry and then the meeting happened, & poof I was healed.
Afterwards & into the evening, I was waiting for that overwhelming, anxious, anxiety ridden feeling to come back. I was waiting to fall apart & become a puddle on the floor. I expected to crumple under the worry & financial stress that was coming. But I didn’t. As awkward as it sounds, I was happy. I felt more free than I have felt in a long time and not just because I lost my job. With that went the stress, the loss of sleep, the lack of time, & the “this is too much to handle” thoughts because God had once again removed a burden/distraction out of the way so that I can focus on the end goal.
He works in mysterious ways. When you think he isn’t there molding his plan, he is. I could use a ton of cheesy puns right here but God took that sour, awful tasting lemon & has turned it to crisp, sweet lemonade. I have realized over these last few days that we might all have “jobs” on this earth but we can never forget about why he put us here & what our END GOAL is. Matthew 28:19-20 says it best; “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded of you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
And so that is what I am going to do… I will LET GO & LET GOD fulfill his plan through me.
