Laying in bed and trying not to freak out- I’ve just read a great blog form a girl who just got off the race- the whole blog was about NOT freaking out. She talks about how unbelievable this journey is that I’m about to take, about how she is forever changed and how it’s hard adjusting back to “normal” life. She tells you not to stress out about your team or your spiritual “readiness”. And about not stressing over funding (which I am) and tells you not to pack things that you don’t usually wear at home (cargo pants and keenes – I’m a jeans and reef’s kinda gal) .
I know she’s right. And yet, I’m still freaking out.
I know stressing over funding is not going to make support appear in my account any faster. I know combing the internet for the perfect knee length skirt is a waste of my time and that the world will not end when I over pack with crap I won’t use. I get that no matter how many “God” books I try and read before I leave on Jan 8th– I’m never going to feel spiritually ready for this. I also know that no matter how I try and rework what my future will look like (career,location,car…career)- I have NO IDEA what life will be like once I’m back next year. Absolutely none.
I’m torn. I’d like to tell myself to knock it off, suck it up and stop freaking out bbuuuuttt on the other hand I think a small amount of healthy freaking out is a good thing. I’m pretty sure God thinks it’s comical how often I think about what I need to pack. I’ve had multiple conversations with people on what they feel the proper Pants vs Shorts/skirts ratio is. (And if pants, what kind…jeans? Stretchy comfy? Expensive light weight quick dry Colombia kind? UGH!) I’m sure what he DOESN’t find comical is my continued checking and rechecking in with him about my funding.
Note to self- God is in control.
So I’m going not going to waste these last 13 days I have left of this particular season of my life MARJORLY freaking out. I’m going to spend them enjoying coffee dates, walks with the dog, lots of pasta, and a trip or two to the movies with people I love and only SLIGHTLY freak out with them while I make them discuss the side effects of Malaria meds, the weather in Romania, what the must read book of the year is and the contents of my back pack for the 47th time
.
Because even though I’m SLIGHTLY freaking out…I’m MAJORLY excited. 13 days and counting. 🙂
