The end of this trip is nearing.
There is still a significant amount of time left, but I know
it will pass as quickly as it has come.
I have started to think about what I will say to people when
I get home, when asked about my experiences.
This year has been filled with so much, but my mind seems to go blank
when I think about what to say to people.
Just… blank.
To try and describe a whole year of traveling the world, in
a 5-10 minute conversation, adequately portraying my heart, overwhelms me. Honestly , it really overwhelms me.
I remember when I left for the race and the expectations
that I had. I expected my belief in the
Lord would be furthered by all the crazy things I was going to see. I expected that I was going to meet people
that would truly test my faith. I
expected that I was going to see circumstances that would make me question the
goodness of the Lord. I expected that I
was going to bring the only Light that many people would ever see.
I experienced people telling me before I left to prepare
myself for the things I was going to see and to be careful not to become too
cynical about the world. This, combined
with my own expectations, prepared me to fight with a tough world. I knew I would win, because of Whose side I
am on, but it still scared me.
What I didn’t expect was the love. So much love.
Gosh, this overwhelms me.
There are so many lovely people in this world. There is crap in the world, there are awful
things that happen every day. The injustices in the world deserve our attention
and care. But please hear me when I tell
you that there are people all over the world who truly get it. I have met people who have an amazing amount
of love, joy and peace within them. They
love the Lord with all their heart. They
believe in the gospel and they live out their belief.
Their steadfastness is so beautiful.
The expectations I came into the race with were largely
selfishly motivated. I wanted to see
healings, but because I wanted to be associated with that power of the
Lord. I wanted to love the widows and
the orphans because that’s what all good missionaries do. I wanted to do crazy things and see crazy
things. I know the Lord has truly given
me a heart for these things and he has worked everything out in my heart so
that what I have experienced gives Him glory.
But so so so much more than all the things I wanted to see
and experience are the people I met and grew to love. These people will stay
with me long after the stories and experiences are forgotten. Their actions and lives are motivated by
love. The love of Jesus.
“And now I will show you the most excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of
angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging
cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy
and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and I have a faith that can
move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and
surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It is not rude, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.� 1 Corinthians
13:1-8
I am beginning to understand more and more that everything
that Jesus did was absolutely covered in love.
We are quick to throw that word around.
I am quick to throw that word around.
I love a lot of things. I love
love. But nothing compares to the love
of Jesus. Nothing, nothing, nothing
compares.
Jesus’ love for us is SO big. It moves hearts, it transforms lives, it
releases burdens, it sets people free. I
feel like this past month, I have begun to feel the heartbeat of my Savior more
and more. I have felt such pure love, joy and peace and I know it has come from
the intimacy I have felt with Jesus.
It’s the kind of love that I truly only have to speak the name of Jesus,
my Jesus, and my eyes start to well up.
It’s the kind of love that gives me peace and faith in the midst of
starting and processing big things in my future. It’s the kind of love that literally rocks my
spirit.
I want to tell you about my Jesus.
My Jesus came to this earth, lived a perfect life, loved
people, spoke truth and humbled himself.
He committed His entire life to bringing glory to God the
Father. He loved us, His people, so
much, that He willingly gave himself as a sacrifice on the cross, atonement for
our sin. He took all of our junk, our
imperfection onto Himself and in turn offered us life through His death.
You want to know the absolute best part?
He did this for you.
He loves you. He loves you so much, exactly where you are.
He doesn’t choose to love you because you are a “good�
person.
He loves you because you believe in Him. That is truly all that is needed to have a
relationship with Him. Belief in God as
the one true God and that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for you.
Gosh, I want you all to feel this love. It is a love that gives lasting
fulfillment. It is a love that covers
past mistakes and that provides overwhelming grace. It is a love that enables people to live a
life that is full of hope, dreams and peace.
It is a love that literally takes away fears that you never thought
would go away.
Jesus loves you. That
phrase can be thrown around a lot in America, honestly usually in a careless
way. But please just sit for a minute
and let that resonate with you.
The God of the universe loves you.
He hears you, He listens, He cares and He loves. Ah, He loves so hard.
Sit.
Feel that love. Let
it wash over you. Stop trying to do,
stop trying to fulfill yourself, I promise nothing will. Just sit and feel the love of Jesus.
He loves you because He
loves you because He loves you because He loves you.
