I’m a
sensitive one.
Many of you
definitely already know this about me.
But I don’t
think I knew the extent of my “emotional tendencies� until this past year. When others are happy and full of life, it
brings me so much JOY and it is easy for me to jump right into their happiness. On the flip side, when others are having a
harder day, feeling sad or tense, it is so easy for me to take on those
feelings as well. I just naturally feel
them and I often times have a hard time releasing them.
The Lord has
been teaching me so much about using this sensitive heart of mine only for His
glory and not letting it hinder me in any way.
He really has been teaching me this lesson the entire race, but He has
really been hitting it home in this past month.
Here is a conversation that we have been having lately:
God: “Here you go daughter, I am calling you up
into leadership.�
Me: “Wow,
okay God. I’m not sure what to expect,
but I trust You.�
God: “I’m
glad you chose to step into this. Follow
my leading.�
Me: “God,
this is hard…I want everyone to be happy and I feel the weight of the team
whenever there is any tension. Don’t
know how to do this.�
God: “Kelly,
I want to teach you to rely on Me, to put your burdens upon My shoulders. Stop trying to do this on your own.�
Me: “I see that…and I am trying. But my heart still feels so much. I don’t know how to match my emotions with
the attitude that you tell me to uphold- JOY.�
God: “Step
by step, daughter. Take each day and
practice what I have spoken to you. Use
your heart to love your teammates without end and give me the junk. I make beautiful things out of brokenness.�
My attitude
does not have to be dictated by my emotions.
I am a natural feeler at heart, so I know that I will probably always
feel the tension, anger, happiness, joy etc…but it is what I choose to do with
those emotions that truly matter.
This verse
has been a source of strength for me in times that I didn’t “feel� like walking
forwards in joy.
“I have
learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well
fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me
strength.� Philippians 4:12-13
God has
given me the key to being content every day, through His son, Jesus Christ.
Nothing can
and should bring me greater joy than knowing my Savior intimately, each
day.
I’m so thankful for my Jesus.
