Matthew 20: 29-34; As Jesus and His disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed Him. Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!'”Jesus stopped and called them. ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ He asked. “Lord,” they answered, “we want our sight.” Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.
Before I begin talking about what the Lord has been teaching me here in El Salvador, I want to give you guys a brief overview of what the Lord did last month in Guatemala. Month 2 was all squad month, which means all 27(30 including squad leaders) of us were together in Peten, Guatemala. We were working with a ministry called Hearts In Action and it is located on a 600 acre ranch in the middle of the jungle. The ministry has a school (the Jungle School) for kids grades k-12 and since school was not in session, we spent the month doing projects to help our host prepare for the kids return. Life in the jungle was fun and challenging but I learned so much! I have been blessed to be on a squad with people who hear from the Lord, and they are not afraid to share their wisdom with others around them. I was challenged, encouraged, and pushed out of my comfort zone to look more like Christ daily. I got the chance to have deep and intimate conversations about how the Lord is working in my squad mate’s lives while we painted or shucked corn. I learned about working hard and having a true servant’s heart because, I didn’t always see the point of some of the tasks that I was given. In those moments, the Lord reminded me that it isn’t about the task I am doing, but rather the attitude that I have while doing the task that counts. He reminded me that I am here to serve Him, not anyone else. After many days of prayer, I felt the Lord calling me to share with my squad some of my daily struggles and invite them to speak into those areas of my life. God revealed to me that it is very easy for me to be transparent, but it is not easy for me to be vulnerable. I can easily speak or give advice about struggles that I have already walked through, but it is very difficult for me to share what I am currently struggling with in the moment. I realized this is difficult for me because I am a problem solver, I like to figure things out myself, and I also do not like the feeling that I am burdening other people with my problems. However, the Holy Spirit was so present when I chose to be obedient to the Lord and share my struggles. I am not going to pretend like speaking in front of 30 people about intimate parts of my life was easy, but the Lord used me in that moment. I feared that I would receive rejection or judgment for bearing my heart to people I’ve known for 3 months. Instead, I received encouragement, affirmation, and people willing to meet me right where I am at. I am so thankful that the Lord has placed my squad together, to embark on this journey together! Month 2 taught me that vulnerability is strength, not weakness and that it’s okay to invite people into the hard places. It also taught me that sometimes ministry is having deep and hard conversations with your squad mates, and that’s okay. If we can’t be Jesus to those we are in community with first, then how can we expect to be Jesus to those outside of our community? Even though it was a rougher month for me, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. So thank you to all those who poured into me last month.
El Salvador is a beautiful country and I have loved partnering with YWAM this month here in San Salvador. Since arriving, my team and I have participated in a few different ministries. YWAM has adopted a very poor community here in the capital, and they have several outreaches that they do each day of the week. On Mondays’ we go to the local mall and just talk to people about their lives. I do not want to say that we “evangelize” because that is a term I am not very fond of. I feel when people think of evangelism, they think of a person preaching at them, or shoving Jesus down their throat. That isn’t what we do, instead, we talk to people about their story and struggles. We take the time to just listen to people and let them know that someone cares about them. Often times people are just looking for someone to listen and genuinely care about them. At the end of our conversation, we ask if we can pray for them, and what they need prayer for. People are very open to receiving prayer here and I have had the opportunity to pray for many. Tuesdays’ we go with the staff into the community and help cook and prepare a hot meal for 80 kids, and we get up and feed the same children on Wednesday as well. Wednesday evenings, we go out into the streets nearby to talk with and pray for men and women prostituting themselves on the street corners. Last Wednesday, I met a man named Edwin who is a transgender prostitute. He doesn’t want to be a prostitute, instead he has dreams of becoming a florist. Growing up, he always knew that he was different, and he was bullied a lot during school. His family is very conservative and when he told them he was gay, they did not receive the news well. So, he moved here to San Salvador because the people here are more accepting. His family does not know that he dresses as a woman each night, and sells himself for money to find love and acceptance. As he told us his story, my heart broke at the lies and bondage he chooses to believe. Edwin believes that there is no hope and no way out of the lifestyle he is leading. I pray that the Lord provides a way out of this life Edwin is leading, and most of all that he would have a relationship with Jesus. He will never find acceptance and love until he runs into the arms of his Savior.
Last Thursday, we went to hand out cookies and coffee near the hospital and I met a woman named Coral who has two sons. Her oldest son Diego, was not with her because he has epilepsy. She and her younger son journey each week to the capital to try and get the medicine that Diego needs. Once a week, the hospital gives away the medicine her son needs, but she must arrive at the hospital by a certain time. My heart broke for this woman as she told us that she was late today due to all the traffic. She wasn’t able to get her Diego’s medicine, and on top of that her younger son had not eaten because they needed money to travel back home. I wish that I could’ve given him more than just a few cookies, but I didn’t have any money with me. As I prayed for Coral and Diego, tears began to pour down her face. She said that my prayer was such a blessing because she sometimes forgets about the Lord, and she wants to make Him more of a priority in her life. I so desperately wanted to buy Diego’s medicine for her, which by the way only costs around $5 but I had to trust the Lord in that moment. Since I didn’t have any money, I had to trust that the Lord will provide for Coral and her family. I can’t be the one to save Coral or Diego, only the Lord can and I believe He will care for His people. He is a God of compassion, and I believe He truly cares for Coral and her family, so I pray that He will heal Diego and meet all of their needs.
This Wednesday was our last day at the feeding program for the kids in the community. It has been such a blessing and growing experience to work with them this month! Even though we don’t speak the same language, just playing with them or receiving a hug has blessed me. I’ve been able to act out the fruits of the spirit, jump rope, play tag, and just love on these kids. It is so rare to see kids who have absolutely nothing, experience such joy. It is clear that their joy is from the Lord because they live in one room shacks wearing clothes that are tattered and barely fit them. We have been able to give them clothes, shoes, and Christmas gifts this month, and seeing the smiles on their faces brought me joy. Pictured above, is a little girl from the community named Emilee. She is 3 years old and she loves to sing, dance, and jump rope. I have loved being able to spend time with her this month and get to know her family. She is one of 8 children and they are the sweetest kids you will ever meet. Every time we are in the community, they always greet us with a smile and a hug, and they never leave without hugging us goodbye. I have gone to this ministry expecting to bless these kids, but instead they have taught me and blessed me. They taught me the true meaning of contentment and what it truly means to have nothing. In addition, they showed me what true joy looks like despite hardship. These kids have so many things going against them: pressure to join a gang, sexual abuse, teen pregnancy, poverty, family members that abuse drugs and alcohol; however they choose joy and continue to come back to learn more about the Lord. Please pray that as we leave these kids, that the staff of YWAM can continue to build relationships with them and show them the love of Jesus.
In sharing with my squad last month, I encountered blessing from the Lord for being obedient to what He asked me to do. However, this month I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to pray with a woman on the street, but I didn’t because I was afraid. I felt the Spirit prompt me to pray for healing for another woman in the street, but I didn’t because the timing was inconvenient for me. I have never regretted being obedient to the Lord, but I wish that I would have listened to the Spirit in those moments. I missed out on how the Lord wanted to use me in those moments, but I am working on being obedient. Boldness is something that I have been asking the Lord for, so that I can become more confident in those moments. This month the Lord has been teaching me obedience, and He has been asking me to give Him more of my time. Since beginning this journey, He has revealed to me that He desires to use my voice, and last month He spoke to me saying I will shine for Him in dark places. I don’t know what that looks like yet, but I know He will show me. Perhaps He hasn’t revealed those things to me because I would be afraid if He did. I believe He is using this time to prepare my heart and heal me from past hurts. So please pray that I will be obedient to His voice and that I will be an effective tool for His Kingdom.
Thank you all for your continued prayer and support! Central America has been incredible, and I can’t wait to see what Africa has in-store! I am still not fully funded, so if you would like to make a donation please follow my blog link!
