Anyone who knows me pretty well could certainly vouch for me in the fact that I’m, well, more than a little indecisive. Indecisive to the point that my ‘life plan’ changes every 2 weeks. My friends have to tell me where we should eat dinner. My mom won’t take Christmas present suggestions for me in November because, “I won’t like it when Christmas comes.” When I booked a plane ticket two weeks in advance to go to Australia for the summer last year, I didn’t let myself think about it until I was on the plane, because if I did I would definitely change my mind.
Well growing up comes with a lot of decisions, so it’s good to have some answers prepped. In the last few years, I’ve found myself making a lot of ‘default choices,’ if you will. I live close, so I guess I’ll go to IU. I’m decent at science, so I guess I should major in it. I’m good at school, so maybe I should be a doctor. Not that I ever specifically wanted something else, but I had so much trouble deciding that I always went with the most logical choice. And I’m not complaining; all those seemingly mediocre decisions brought me here. I’m in my senior year at the best school in the world. I feel like something truly amazing about college is that you can learn so much more about yourself and the world than you can in the classroom. And now I feel strong enough to do something a little less ‘default.’
The World Race is something that been on my mind for a few years now. My friend Allie went on a shorter program with Adventures in Missions freshman year, and she came back different. Stronger. Her perspective was shifted in a way that I wanted mine to be. And I think I made excuses, because there were things I felt like I had to do. Of course I have to go to some kind of grad school, or at least I have to have a job lined up right after I graduate. I have to be ‘successful’ in society’s form of the word.
Until I realized I don’t.
So after prayer, consultation, and tons of circles in my mind, I’m going. In July 2015, I will be traveling and spreading love in 11 countries, spending a month in each. South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, India, Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua. Ill be serving in each country, being stretched out of my comfort zone and doing my best to be Jesus to the people of each of these places in whatever ways they need me to.
I’m truly more scared than I’ve ever been in my life. This is crazy. Why would I want to sleep in a tent for a whole year? Why would I want to leave this comfortable life where I have an awesome family and friends that make me happy and the world at my feet? And I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t even understand. But I’m telling you, I’m going. And I know myself well enough to know that if everyone knows, it’ll be a little harder for this indecisive mind to send itself into reverse.
