January 1.
The new year. Isn’t there something exciting about it? If I let myself buy into it and push my cynicism to the side, there’s something magical there. There’s promise and newness and a type of hope that only comes with the arrival of something completely unknown, unpredictable, scary even. 2016.
On the last day of 2015, I taught. It’s almost paradoxical, to end a year of learning with teaching. I taught English to 65 of the sweetest smiling second graders in little white shirts and navy pants and skirts, who put their hands together and say “thank you, teacher” every time they answer one of my questions. I watched. I watched fireworks in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, with 33 children. “Orphans,” technically, but they’d never call themselves that. They’re loved and complete; they’re at home and alive. I watched in awe. In awe of the sky, in awe of the darkness consumed by twinkly lights, the fire that falls like willow trees. I watched in awe of the kids, in awe of their awe. Their wonder, their excitement, their joy, their hope for this year.
We look ahead, and, if we’re lucky, we’re like the kids. We’re hopeful. We choose the magic.
Today, I resolve and reflect because I think it’s worth it.
In all of my resolution and reflection, I’d like to share a bit. 2015 was a big year for me. I got my degree- Bachelor of Science in Neuroscience with a certificate in “I still have no idea.” I’ve traveled to 7 countries, but I’ve done more than travel in them. I’ve lived in them, I’ve loved in them. I’ve learned in them. I’ve known their people and their culture and I’ve been changed in them and by them.
In 2015, I feel I’ve learned more things than in all my other years combined. I’m not sure that’s actually the truth, but I think I could go on for hours with all of the things I’ve learned. I’d like to, if anyone would like to listen. I think it may have even been my best year yet. But for now, I’ll give you a few things, the most important ones:
23 Things I’ve Learned in 2015
(my 23rd year of life, of course)
1. People. People will always win it for me. People are always the most important.
2. The Lord still speaks. Tangibly, creatively, in all kinds of ways. Most people don’t listen.
3. We have so much to learn from kids. We need to love like kids, forgive like kids, desire learning and newness like kids, dream and create like kids.
4. It’s okay to be hurt. Really, truly, deeply hurt in a way that no one understands. It’s good to cry. It’s better to talk about it, to acknowledge it, to give yourself grace in how much it hurts and how long it lasts.
5. You don’t have to have a lot to love a lot. You don’t have to have anything, really.
6. I’m strong. We’re strong. I can adapt to almost anything. Temperature, bugs crawling all over me, language barriers and little food and mattresses made of straw. Anything.
7. I’m a teacher. I’m an artist. I’m a healer and a poet, a leader and a speaker and an evangelist. I’m creative, insightful, and free.
8. “Need” is so relative.
9. Everyone has something to teach me. Probably lots of somethings. Probably beautiful things, things I’d never know if I hadn’t given them the chance.
10. Prayer is powerful- crazy powerful. It’s a tool and a gift.
11. ‘Family’ can take lots of different forms. So can ‘home.’
12. People want to feel loved, to be wanted and worthy, to love back. Connection- that’s really what it’s all about. People look different around the world, but they’re all the same. I think most of our struggles stem from misdirecting the human desire to be loved.
13. Who are you? Not your credentials, not the roles you fill, just you. If you can’t truly answer that question at the end of the day, nothing really matters.
14. A life of disengagement is a life of settling. A life of going through the motions is a life without passion. It’s also my worst fear.
15. Nothing’s permanent until it’s permanent. Your “career,” your “plan,”-it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the pressures of the world scream that it does. It’ll change. I think there’s freedom in discovering that.
16. Language barriers are a bummer, but a smile is universal. Usually high-fives and “hello” and “toilet” are too.
17. Happiness is conditional, joy is eternal.
18. Apathy is probably the devil’s trickiest tool.
19. You must do what makes your soul light.
20. Physical, spiritual, mental, emotional. Health is arbitrary without all four. You have to rest and feel and think and pray. Sleep is medicine.
21. Christmas is beautiful, but it can’t be made. It’s not just a feeling or a season, it’s a gift in itself.
22. Words are the most powerful thing we can produce on our own. They’re how we influence, how we express, how we connect, how we hurt each other. Be smart with your words. Love well with your words.
23. Lastly, this may not be the most important, but it’s definitely the most practical. Stretch and drink water. You have to! No one stretches enough. No one drinks enough water. I promise it’s true; we could all use more.
I wish you all a year of love and light, of newness and joy.
Happy 2016 from my little corner, from my firework selfie, from my Cambodian orphanage home.
