4.20.13
I will not let the enemy sit me down or bury me.
I choose to turn and live.
I turn from believing that I am not enough, that my capacity to receive and give is not big enough.
I will not sit here and be prideful enough to think that it's all about me, to doubt that I was ready to squad lead, to doubt that I was the right person for this squad.
Since when did the enemy creep in and get me to start questioning my worth, my freedom, my identity.
I take it all back and claim what is mine in Christ.
I am here for a purpose.
I was called to this squad and these people specifically.
I am enough.
My identity is Jesus and in him I have everything to offer.
4.22.13
1st day of debrief.
Shawarma for lunch.
Team Luminous debrief.
Introduced Kayla and Nicole as squad leaders!
4.23.13
GENDER time. Betsy Garmon to the women of N Squad:
The question is not, "Are you comfortable?" but "Are you called?"
You can choose your way through tough places.
Body image is an identity conversation. We are the beauty of God and the enemy tries to cloak us in shame because of it.
Vulnerability is a military term used to assess where there is potential to be taken out.
If you're not honest about where you can be taken out, you can't understand your true vulnerabilities.
Pretending does not keep you safe.
4.23.13
Betsy Garmon to N Squad:
Sometimes we mistake a revelation for instantaneous healing. We think revelation and transformation are one when in reality discipline leads to transformation.
Abandonment causes our eyes to open wide.
Stay open. Remain open to the possibility that god is asking you to give something up.
Justify less.
Hold tightly to God's character.
Let go of fear.
Trust that the Spirit will show up.
Let go of doubt.
Trust that the words in your heart are his.
Kill pride.
Be authentic.
Choose integrity.
4.24.13
I'm pursuing self control because I want it to be part of me, something so ingrained in my daily life that I don't think consciously about choosing it.
Not only will I be most satisfied in looking like Christ, but my life will speak of Jesus.
In process, my pursuits are not as evident. It's when things are solidified in my character that they speak loudly.
I want my life to speak of Jesus. So I will pursue his likeness and choose to be self controlled in that pursuit.
4.28.13
Traveled from Brasov to Bucharest. Got to Bucharest at 3:30 am. Slept from 4:00 am until noon. Ran in the park. Dinner with Daniel and Kayla. Talked with mom. Father, draw her close to your heart.
4.29.13
To the one inquiring:
Find god.
Skip church and bible study.
Find him in your pedestrian life.
Find him in adventure. Find him in the music you listen to. Find him in the person that is hardest for you to love.
Quit looking for a formula. There isn't one. Quit living by a list of dos and don'ts. Look for relationship.
Ask hard questions and listen for the answers.
Find god. He's there. You just haven't recognized him yet.
4.30.13
Kayla and I leave on a 6 am train tomorrow morning from Bucharest to Kiev. 27 hours. Sleeper cars. Love travel days.
