I’m homesick for the midwest. I miss the seasons, the cool fall weather when then leaves are changing. I miss Bird Lake in Minocqua, Wisconsin, where I have spent countless weeks with my closest friends. I miss wearing long underwear, gloves, and a headband while running. I miss getting into the car and fighting to breathe because it is so cold, the leather seats rigid.
I’m in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I’m hot. I’m physcially uncomfortable. I’ve never seen so many mosquitos in one bathroom. I sweat falling asleep. It’s been tough. I’ve found myself wishing circumstances were different. I started looking forward to Vietnam when I learned the heat was less intense.
“Be present,” says the Lord. He first started speaking this to me in Nicaragua and has continued. These two words mean more now. I want to be present this month. I don't want to miss what God has for me because my thoughts are elsewhere.
As I started journaling about this, the Lord asked, “Will you lay down your physical comfort for me? If you’re going to give me your life, then are you willing to give me this?” Ok God, I see your point.
God is sharpening me [shout out: Jacqueline]. He is building my endurance and in turn my character. I am learning a greater dependence on Him. I am learning more and more that I can’t do it on my own; I am completely depraved without Him. I asked the Lord to show me my weaknesses. As He answers, I will continue to ask.
I am homesick. I am homesick for the midwest, but I am thankful that I am not there. I am thankful for the heat and mosquitos. I am thankful because God is using these circumstances to bring me into greater intimacy with Him. And if I had one prayer prior to starting the race, that was it.
I am laying my desires at His feet, choosing to walk not in what He permits, but in His highest will for me.
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