On Fasting

On Monday night, I ate a delicious dinner of fried flounder and hushpuppies.  For as long as I can remember, going to my grandparent’s has always meant a trip to the fish camp.  When I was little, my favorite was the one with the ginormous candy counter.  Who am I kidding, that one’s still my favorite!  But this time it was different…for a lot of reasons.  But for the purposes of this blog, we’ll just stick to one.

 

I ate that fish supper on Monday night knowing it was my last meal until breakfast this morning.  (Ok, ok, I confess I ate a couple of crackers at midnight this morning to prepare my stomach for the deliciousness of a Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit that was coming!)  Tuesday went by…no food.  Wednesday…same deal.  Thursday…nope, nada.  Our squad just finished a three day food fast as we prepare to leave in just a week.  So I’ve had a lot of time to think about food and eating, fasting and feasting.  I’ve fasted before, but never for quite this long and my mind was hyper aware of all things “food.” 

 

I don’t think I yet fully understand the true spirit of fasting.  Like any other discipline, it’s something we need to practice and grow in.  And I intend to.  (And good things came out of this one!  But I think there’s more there for the future.)  Because this time I spent more time debating the “rules” of our fast than anything else.  “Does gum count?  Can I drink juice?  What about tea?  Isn’t a popsicle just frozen juice?  Can I just lick that?”  I couldn’t even write this blog in good conscience without making sure you know I ate crackers at midnight, lest I mislead you.  So if I’m honest, I’m pretty sure I was more concerned with “doing it right” than pleasing God.  But that’s not even it exactly…it’s that somehow, in my mind, those two things are the same.  If I follow the rules, get the timing and details just right, then my sacrifice will be pleasing to God.  I desperately want something to offer Him.  And I don’t even realize how prideful it is for me to hope I won’t need His grace. 

 

Towards the middle of my fast, I was convicted by the passage in Matthew 15 where the Pharisees accuse the disciples of “breaking tradition.” 

 

Jesus responds to them, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.” 

 

I did it.  I fasted the full three days with no cheating or really any gray areas.  Nobody could find fault with me following the rules.  I like it that way.  (And can we just take a moment to notice how many “me” pronouns are in those sentences?  That’s 4 just there!)  But the giving up of food for those days wasn’t really the point.  And my guess is, there would have been far more value had I been a little more focused on intentionally seeking the Lord and a little less focused on whether or not it was ok to freeze my glass of orange juice.  Which I know and even said before beginning.  But the Lord is teaching me anew until I fully live that out.  And when it’s all said and done, I realize how desperately I need the grace He offers…because as long as “I get it right”, my heart won’t be close enough to beat with His.

 

….

 

and some random bonus thoughts to chew on (no pun intended!)…

 

1.  We have no idea how much our lives revolve around food until
we’re not doing it.  Think about how much time we actually spend
eating, planning meals, grocery shopping, snacking, scheduling lunch
dates, looking forward to our next good meal.  For three days I felt
like I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to structure my day
around!

2.  I wasn’t actually that hungry.  Don’t get me wrong, I missed
eating.  But it was more the actual act of eating, having meals with
people, the ability to choose what I was going to put into my body,
than intense hunger.

 

3.  There’s something important about knowing that we aren’t called to a continual fast.  Because Christ’s goal is not simply to deprive us.  There are seasons and moments for fasting and searching.  And there are moments that we are called to feast and celebrate.  And neither would be as good without the other.  Hmmm.