Well, I did it. Month one done and done. Looking over the past month I still can’t believe that I’m here and I’m doing this thing. While at debrief with the rest of my squad in Tirana, man, did all the emotions come out. Coming into debrief I just felt drained.
The walls are coming down and the foundation I’ve spent so long building my false self on is crumbling. And it’s awful, but it’s also wonderful. It hurts but I’m so thankful. If there is a theme of what my month one has been, it’s that I can’t do it on my own.
I’ve actually prided myself in being a pretty self-sufficient person who is capable of holding my own and leading from a place of discernment and a certain amount of knowledge. But, oh man, did I learn how weak and incapable I am on my own through this month.
Thanks for your grace, Jesus.
The first month came with a slew of emotions and things to be learned. This month I learned…
I have no control over situations and God wants to show me what He can do when I finally let go of the reigns I hold on to so very tightly.
“Help me, Jesus” are sometimes the only words you have in certain situations.
That I hate country music and my teammates love to torture me with that tidbit about myself and therefore should have never told them that.
Community is not always easy and you have to spend the time and effort into making it function and an environment that fosters communication and vulnerability.
My life will mean something if I come in fully surrender to what God’s plan is for my life.
Being from Florida is weird to other people and being cold will be a constant thing for me here.
I can be hurt, but Jesus is my ultimate comfort to run to.
Traveling for 48 hours straight is exhausting.
Get to the bus on time or else you will be running after it with your 50+ lbs of baggage to get it to stop for you. It’s entertaining for the people watching you but there is no worse feeling then watching that bus almost pull out and you aren’t on it and then next one won’t come for 10 hours.
I do not think about eating and in order to not starve my team, delegate that responsibility out. Thank you Shirletha and Kyle for feeding me all month.
I am precious in His eyes, honored, and am loved by my Father.
Missing people back at home is hard. So very hard.
Knowing that you are being prayed for and loved by those people make it so much better.
I am not a hopeless romantic, but I can appreciate them a lot more after living life with two of them.
I am capable, I am enough, I am fully who God created me to be.
Delegation is a necessity even if you don’t want to do it. Even if you feel like you are a capable of doing it all, you are not.
Peanut butter is a hot commodity around here and there is no greater treat than the delicacy that is a PB&J to me.
All you need are headlamps to make dinner when the electricity goes out.
Going to coffee is so much more about the experience with the people you go with than just grabbing caffeine. Seriously, asking for ‘take away’ is the strangest thing here.
Girls’ nights are fun and bring about the best conversations with teenage girls.
My story can make a difference in other’s lives.
The Savior looks beyond our labels, circumstances, and shame, and holds out forgiveness, healing, and hope by the bucketful.
I can take a blank wall and create something to cover it and the Lord will teach me so very very much with it.
Bob Ross is now my favorite television personality. All about that Van Dyke Brown and Happy Trees with their Happy Friends.
Sleeping on a ferry boat, multiple buses, tents while it’s below freezing, a mattress on the floor, and a bunk bed that moves when you move an inch is all capable of being done in a month.
Castles are really cool, guys.
How to play 7 down, 7 up and dominate, then dominate not so much, and then learn how to lose with grace.
Water out of a mountain is the best tasting water. EVER.
How many cows I am worth (8.5 apparently).
I can be a part of a drama team just by my role in the Daniel sketch alone. I slayed at playing a conspirator to later be through into the lion’s den.
Goats won’t run away from you when you have food to feed them, even if it’s only a rotten apple.
You will have days where you do not want to be around people and all you want to do is cry, but the Lord places you exactly where he wants you with the people he wants you to be with.
You can make great friends, even if there is a language barrier.
I can be mistaken for being from Belgium because of my large foot size.
I am horrible at taking selfies. The teens we worked with definitely point that out to me. No shame there.
God has given me a hunger for adventure and a thirst for wandering I can’t wait to walk through with Him.
There are some really wonderful humans out in the world. They will encourage you and teach you even when they aren’t meaning to. The Lord shines through these people and makes you want to be around them. It is such a peaceful resting place when you are around someone who loves you with God’s love.
A healthy sense of humor is much needed on the Race.
Sometimes all you need at the end of the day is an ice cream cone.
Nothing is ever normal. And even finding small senses of normalcy on the Race will even itself feel not normal, because what your normal is will no longer be normal.
