Yeah that’s right, I went to BAND CAMP. I was a proud marching band nerd, and yes, I still have dreams that I am marching with my school and I don’t know how to play the song on my clarinet. I know, AWFUL NIGHTMARE.
So my story goes like this…..
One day a couple of my friends and I went to a restaurant for our lunch break, it took a little longer than we anticipated, and since we were sooooo hungry we decided we definitely HAD to wait for our food. I mean it would be a tragedy to abandon our order at that point. Well, our Band Director had a couple of rules and one of them was do not be late coming back from lunch.
OOPS….
So what would be a logical thing to do in order to not get in trouble? That’s right, hide in a tuba locker until everyone else goes outside and then we can discreetly join them. No one would notice that we were missing until then. Oh to be 16 again with superior logic and reasoning!
Pure Genius.
While cramming as fast as we could inside that locker, all squished nice and snug together, we could hear the Assistant Directors flip flops, flip-flopping (that’s a real word) outside the locker. Fear instantly struck, or maybe cause and effect of our genius plan finally kicked in. What if he opens the tuba locker door? What if he hears us? What if I get stuck in this thing? What will our Director think if he sees us in here? What if they notice we are not in the band room? What if? I said a quick prayer to keep us out of trouble.
There is a point to this, I promise.
When fear strikes, as it did in that locker, it is common for us to think what if? Instead of facing my fear of getting caught, I hid. Welcome to my life. I run away and hide from my problems. I let fear win way too often. Fear of the unknown and fear of the known. Fear causes many negative emotions and feelings, and it can become all-consuming. Fear prevents us from experiencing new things, like what it feels like to be smooshed into a locker, I know you have always wondered. Fear is one of our enemy’s most powerful weapons against us, and most of the time it works.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Wherever you go, God was even there with me in that locker, though there may have been a few head shakes from my Father.
Now here comes the full circle, the point I’m trying to make.
I’m tired of living my life in fear. I’m tired of the what if’s. I’m tired of trying to follow MY plan. I’m tired of the routine. I’m tired of not being still. I’m tired of not growing in YOU and chasing after my own selfish desires. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of finding fulfillment through busy-ness. I’m tired.
So that is why after many, many prayers, the decision has been made that my 30th year of life is going to be a little different. I am leaving fear behind, I am coming out of the locker (also known as hiding), and I’m finally starting to live the life God has called me to trust Him on.
Growth
Change
Stillness
Fulfillment
Travel
Glory
Praise
All-Consuming Faith
Serving
LIVING MY FATHER’S PLAN
Join me on a journey across the globe.
My ministry starts now.
RIP Fear.
P.S. If you are hanging in suspense on if we escaped the locker unharmed, you will have to hit Subscribe! You will get notified of my next blog and there will be an ending to the story….
