Ever since I can remember, I have always come in second place.
In everything I do, I come so close to first, but not close enough.
I could always smell and taste the recognition, but I never actually got a bite.
I wanted that title, just once.
Just.Once.God.
First Place.
Or maybe I should say, FIRST PLAAAAACCEEEE!!!!!
EEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!
Yep. That’s how high I would jump if I got first place.
If being the key word.
First place in a watermelon eating contest.
First place in a staring contest.
First place in anything.
Come on God, why do you let me get so close, but you never let me feel the glory??
Second Place.
Always, second.
SECOND PLACE?!?! NOT AGAIN. UGH.
Wait, it’s more like
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I can be a little diva sometimes.
I’m working on that.
I grew up as an only girl with two brothers.
I know, that explains a lot.
Anyways………..
Back to second place.
Second place in a weight loss competition.
Second chair while playing my clarinet in band.
Second place in our Senior Year Talent Show, where we danced a fancy cowgirl number.
Second in line for a solo during my first musical (which I did get when the girl got sick, winner by default, haha).
Second born to my parents. (I just had to throw this in there, I secretly love being a middle child, only girl!)
Heck, even my name Kelli was second choice to my parents. I was supposed to be a Jennifer, which I don’t think fits me at all, so yay for second place on that one.
Second place in an Invention Convention in 4th grade. I could have been rich. I created the Kiddie Keeper Beeper for the backseat seatbelt that beeped when it was unbuckled (yep, I invented that)!
Ok. I think you get the hint.
So close, yet so far.
Every.Single.Time.
My name should be, Kelli AlwaysGetsSecondPlace Reder.
This used to bug me.
A lot. If you couldn’t tell.
Then I realized something.
SECOND PLACE IS WHERE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE.
Wait, what?
In America it is beat into our head that if we are not first, we are definitely last.
That first place is what we should strive for.
That you should feel bad if someone is better than you.
Just like Rick Bobby said,
He is a wise man that prays to Baby Jesus.
But I think he was missing something.
That’s when it hit me.
Epiphany through Ricky Bobby.
God works in funny ways.
Sorry it took me this long Lord.
I get it.
IT IS NOT ABOUT ME!
I WANT TO BE SECOND!
STOP STRIVING SO HARD!
I AM ENOUGH!
PRAISE FROM PEOPLE WILL NOT FILL ME LIKE YOU CAN!
FIRST PLACE IS MEANT FOR YOU LORD, NOT ME!
Yes, I am yelling that.
God is first.
In everything.
Period.
If I would have grown up getting first place in everything I did, I would be a different person.
I was forced to give the first place winner a hug and smile.
I was forced to put my pride aside and truly learn how to be happy for others.
I was humbled.
It wasn’t easy.
I lived my life for years in comparison of others.
Why her and not me?
Maybe the Lord was trying to teach me a lesson.
First Place.
I would have taken that title and lived it out.
Not for Him, but for me.
Read that again, NOT FOR HIM BUT FOR ME!
Selfish.
All God wanted me to do was take MY title and live it out.
Second Place.
Not for me, but for Him.
AGAIN, NOT FOR ME BUT FOR HIM!
Not Selfish.
I love when things happen and we don’t realize why until years later.
I finally have realized what I was missing this whole time.
I was never meant to be in first place.
I was born to be second.
It is time for me to own my second place title.
To stop striving to be more.
I am finally free to live out the rest of my days with happiness that I am not first because,
First place belongs to Him. Only Him.
YOU ARE FIRST PLACE LORD.
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FIRST.
HE > I
He must become greater; I must become less.
John 3:30
(Hiking through gorgeous Crested Butte, Colorado last weekend)
FUNDRAISING UPDATE:
HOLY MOLY HOLY MOLY HOLY MOLY!!!
WE RAISED $10,155 IN 4 MONTHS!!!!
I HIT MY SECOND GOAL OF $10,000 SO THAT MEANS I CAN OFFICIALLY LAUNCH WITH MY TEAM AND SQUAD TO COTE D’IVOIRE (IVORY COAST) IN AFRICA!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!
I LEAVE AUGUST 4TH FOR ATLANTA FOR LAST MINUTE TRAINING.
I LEAVE THE COUNTRY AUGUST 8TH FOR THE IVORY COAST!!!
NEXT DEADLINE:
$13,000 BY SEPTEMBER 30TH
I SERIOUSLY CAN’T THANK ALL OF YOU ENOUGH FOR YOUR LOVE, SUPPORT, AND PRAYERS!
GOD IS SOOOO GOOD!!!!!!
